


I'm Doing Fine

by thedreamchaser



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, He just wants peace, Its a weird one, M/M, aged up by a few years, and changbin's support system, chan and minho are really out of character, changbin is rlly grateful for woojin, feels weird to write banginho this way, i'm a sucker for woobin ok, jeongmin are online friends, jilix are lecture buddies, long distance best friend hyunjin, poor changbin, thank god for 2jin, tryna fill up the woobin tag, uhh yeah there's a few makeouts, woojin is his guardian angel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2019-07-07 18:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15913407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedreamchaser/pseuds/thedreamchaser
Summary: "It's not that, hyung. I know you're not like that. I just... like being alone. I've always been alone, even when I'm with others. But then with you, you make me happy and I miss you all the time. I don't want to be... attached."-Changbin has to deal with his roommates and their fights, and everything that happens as a consequence.





	1. Angel

Changbin put in his earphones, turning the volume up just enough to stop hearing the voices. He thought he might just deafen himself. He clicked on Woojin's profile, shaky hands typing a messaging and sending it. 

_seobin: they're at it again_

He chewed on his lip, watching as the speech bubble appears. Woojin replied immediately, as always. 

_woojins: want to get out of there?_

Changbin thought about it. He didn't exactly  _want_  to be there, but he supposed he should stay, just in case things got really out of hand. 

_seobin: I'll be fine_

_seobin: just... talk to me please_

_woojins: of course babe_

Woojin asked him about his day, about how his assignment was going, anything to distract Changbin. Changbin made a mental note to give Woojin a huge hug the next time he saw him. He always knew what to do, what to say. They messaged back and forth until Changbin felt his eyes starting to close from tiredness.  _A rare occurrence._

He pulled out his headphones, noticing the air was still. They must have stopped while he was talking to Woojin. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, relieved. And yet, anxiety ate away at his stomach. 

_seobin: they stopped_

_seobin: I think I should sleep now_

_seobin: thank you for staying up with me_

_woojins: anytime binnie, sleep well. I love you_

_seobin: I love you too hyung, good night_

Changbin smiled to himself. What did he do to deserve such an angel in his life?

 

 

Minho's voice boomed throughout the apartment, making Changbin draw in a sharp breath. "Just grow the fuck up!" 

There was a sob. 

"Please..." 

Changbin sighed. Chan always gave him too much of himself to Minho and expected too much in return. 

"Leave me alone! Can't you see I'm sick of you right now?" 

Chan could only respond with another plead. Changbin could imagine him trailing after Minho, clinging onto his arm desperately. 

Chan was a sweet boy. He was thoughtful and kind and friendly but that wasn't all. Changbin had grown up with Chan and he knew better. He knew how he was self-righteous and jealous and insensitive. A narcissist, one might say. 

While Minho seemed nice enough when they first met, Changbin now knows of his anger and his insecurities and his fear of being smothered. And Chan was nothing if not a smothering person. 

Chan had grown up closed off, having a small number of friends but no one to really turn to when he needed it. That was until he met Minho. He was completely head over heels. As was Minho. He was always insisting that Chan was too good for him, always joking how much he was out of his league. But his insecurities were revealed when he would bring up the fact that he didn't think Chan's (and Changbin's) family approved of him. 

When the yelling stopped, all Changbin could hear was cries. 

"Hyung?" He asked in a small voice, looking for Chan in the darkly lit living room. "What happened?"

He knew what happened. Chan only cried, trying to speak but Changbin couldn't understand much. Once Chan's breathing was less erratic, he tried again. 

"He keeps saying he wants to break up. He says we're not good for each other."

Changbin was on the edge of tears by the time Chan finished explaining because if someone said those things to him, he'd cry too. 

"I hope you find someone who treats you right." Chan blubbered out, still choking on his tears. 

Changbin's parent, who were friends of Chan's, agreed to take care of Chan at age 12 when he moved to South Korea. Changbin, at age 10, gained a best friend. 

His heart ached because it was Chan who was always so put together, in front of him, a crying mess. It was Chan, who he had grown up with, who'd helped him with his homework and cooked with him. Chan's best friend was Changbin until it was Minho. It was sad because when Chan and Minho started dating, it felt like Changbin lost his best friend. The two spent every waking second together from day one. Meanwhile, Changbin sometimes went days without seeing Chan. 

Changbin just let him cry into the tissues and hugged him when he finally stood up from Changbin's bed. It felt weird because, Chan, while not the buffest guy out there, felt more frail than usual. 

It was late by the Chan left Changbin's room to sleep, almost 4 in the morning. 

Changbin, not wanting to worry Woojin yet again, logged into his private account where no one knew who he was. He posted some rather ominous sentences, trying to get things off his chest. 

_darkbinbinnie: sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten so close._

_darkbinbinnie: sometimes I wish I had never met you._

The first to say anything was Jeongin, a younger boy from Busan who was sweet to everyone, soon followed by Seungmin who was from Seoul. 

_jyangs: hyung is everything okay???_

_dandymin: is it your roommates again?_

_darkbinbinnie: yeah it's them, they just can't sort things out properly_

_dandymin: it sounds like they need professional help_

_darkbinbinnie: probably_

_jyangs: you can always talk to us hyung!_

_dandymin: we're always here for you_

_darkbinbinnie: thank you, I love you guys_

_jyangs: love u too hyung_

_dandymin: we mean it, wise old owl_

It was strange; his two online friends, Seungmin and Jeongin, were the ones giving him advice when it was always the other way around. It felt nice to be comforted, but he didn't want anything to be wrong in the first place. 

 

 

Changbin's chest tightened. He clasped his hands together, trying to stop them from shaking. Though nothing had happened yet, Changbin had a bad feeling in his stomach. Before anything could happen, he grabbed his keys and sent a text to Chan, saying that he was going out. He couldn't deal with them, not today. 

He drove to a random parking lot at the riverfront and sat in his car, watching people pass. With every couple that walked past, he felt himself getting more bitter. 

_Why do they get to be so happy?_

He shook the thought from his mind, instead pulling out his phone.

_seobin: you busy?_

A few minutes pass and Changbin thinks Woojin might actually be doing something. 

_woojins: no, wanna hang?_

Changbin sighed in relief, telling Woojin he was at some cafe on the riverfront. 

Before he knew it, a familiar figure appeared in the corner of his eye. Woojin smiled his warming smile as he sat down across from Changbin, but his face settled into a frown soon after. 

"Everything okay?"

Changbin smiled back, nodding brightly. "Yeah, just thinking about my exam from last week." He surprised himself at coming up with something that quickly; there was no exam last week. 

Woojin nodded, not convinced, but changed the subject anyway. 

Changbin was so caught up in his conversation with Woojin that he didn't notice Jisung and Felix, two boys he had some classes with, approach their table. 

"Hey hyung! Were you sick today?" Jisung asked, tilting his head in concern. 

Changbin faltered for a second. "No, just tired."

Woojin turned to Changbin with a raised eyebrow. Changbin avoided his gaze. 

Felix's eyes flickered between Changbin and Woojin. "Well, it was nice seeing you, hyung!" He bowed at them quickly and dragged Jisung away. 

"You didn't go to your lecture?" Woojin's voice was soft and Changbin almost hated that he cared so much. 

He nodded his head, still looking down. "I went to bed late. Couldn't sleep."

"Really? Or is there more?" Woojin leaned back in his seat, giving Changbin some space since he knew the boy was uncomfortable with people too close to him. "They were fighting again?"

He nodded weakly, feeling his throat go dry. He couldn't bring himself to say anything. 

"You loved him, didn't you?"

Changbin snapped his head up in shock because he'd never actually  _told_  Woojin of his feelings, but then again Woojin knew Changbin almost better than he knew himself. 

"I-" He squeezed his eyes shut. "Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" 

He shook his head. "He still loves him. They love each other. I know. I know. And I don't want them to fall apart."

For once, Changbin talked about it. About everything, in detail, just how he remembered it. Woojin listened, somewhere along the line wrapping his hand around Changbin's smaller one. When Changbin didn't pull away, he smiled lightly. Changbin's voice was quiet so naturally, Woojin leaned closer to hear him better. He didn't miss the way Changbin's face reddened a little bit. 

 _Cute_ , Woojin thought to himself. 

When Changbin got home that night, he knew his instinct was right. The air was silent and thick with tension. They'd fought while he was out. Changbin tiptoed towards the bathroom, freezing when he heard movement in the kitchen. It was Chan, no doubt. He could tell from the sniffling. 

_What am I supposed to do? Comfort him like I've done a thousand times before?_

Changbin continued his venture in the dark towards the bathroom, too scared to turn the lights on. Somehow, he caught a glimpse of Minho, who was stretched out on the couch. He didn't even know he was there. They both looked away from each other quickly. 

He couldn't sleep that night, just like always. He just thought for hours. 

_What if they get physical? What if I can't do anything? What if they really fall apart?_

The thoughts aren't exactly intrusive or without reason. Changbin knew of Minho's anger problems. The first time he saw Chan cry because of Minho was early into their relationship. Chan and Minho went out for the night, and they bumped into some of Chan's friends. They all had drinks together and things were fine until Bambam said something stupid (Chan didn't tell him what) and Minho snapped. It took Yugyeom and Junyoung to hold Minho back from knocking Bambam out cold. It wasn't until Jihyo threatened to call the police that Minho backed down. Apparently, he didn't need another run-in with them. 

Ever since that night, Changbin worried every time either of them raised their voice. 

 

 

Changbin's phone buzzed on his bed, making the whole thing shake. 

_Hyunjinnie is calling._

"Hyung!" The voice squeaked from the other side of the line. "How are you?"

"Hi Jinnie," Changbin smiled instantly at the sound of his best friend's voice. "I'm doing fine. What's got you so excited?"

Hyunjin babbled on about something for almost an hour but Changbin didn't mind because Hyunjin was happy, which meant Changbin was happy. Hyunjin, apart from Woojin and Chan, was the only one who knew things about Changbin that no one else did. Not even his family. The same thing was true for Hyunjin. They lived hours apart and didn't get to talk much but they were still best friends. If it came down to it, they would trust each other with their lives. 

"I wish you could meet Woojin hyung one day. You two would really get along, I think."

"What's he like?"

"Nice. Really nice. Pretty smile. Warm and soft and cuddly. Like a teddy bear. God, you two would be inseparable." Changbin smiled at the thought. 

"Is he cute?"

Changbin almost rolled his eyes at the question but he thought about it, even though the answer was obvious. "Well... the cutest, actually."

Hyunjin squealed from the phone, which soon turned into giggles. "I want to meet him hyung!"

"Well then come here!" Changbin pouted. It's been a while since he's seen Hyunjin. 

"I will, one day," Hyunjin promised, and Changbin knew he was curling his pinky fingers together. 

"I'll be waiting, Jinnie." 

 

 

"You're avoiding me," Chan accused as Changbin entered the house, heading for his room. 

And just like that, his mood dropped. "I haven't been home all day." Changbin defended himself, holding himself back from admitting that he actually did loiter around campus to avoid coming home. 

He narrowed his eyes. "But your classes finished 2 hours ago. Where were you?"

Changbin sputtered. "I had a group project to work on. I told you yesterday." He said the last bit quietly because it wouldn't have mattered either way. If Chan was angry, there was no reasoning with him. 

"Whatever." He snapped, glaring at Changbin fiercely. Chan grabbed his car keys and trudged outside, slamming the front door shut. It rattled Changbin's whole body. 

He collapsed on his bed with a sigh, tears welling in his eyes. It wasn't supposed to be like this; he was supposed to be living with his practical older brother and actually enjoying his life.Before a tear could even slip out, his phone buzzed a few times, making him sit up. 

_woojins: hey_

_woojins: don't laugh but I had a tingly feeling, you okay? want me to come over?_

Changbin did laugh because  _wow I really don't deserve Woojin, like, at all_. 

_seobin: please_

_woojins: be there soon!_

Woojin was there in what felt like minutes, knocking on the door with a big smile and a tub of Changbin's favourite ice cream. His smile was gorgeous and light and it made Changbin forget about all the bad things in the world. 

Changbin, realising he forget about it last time, wrapped his arms around Woojin's waist, laying his head on his chest. 

"Oh?" Woojin let out a small breath before wrapping his arms around him in what could only be described as Changbin's warmest, most comforting, best hug ever. He didn't even mind that the ice cream was pressing up against his ribs. 

Changbin mumbled something that Woojin didn't understand, so he reluctantly pulled himself away from the younger. 

"What was that, Bin?"

Changbin smiled in a way that lit up his whole face, and Woojin's too. "You must be my guardian angel."

 

[|visual|](https://twitter.com/dreaminists/status/1063024349660176387?s=21)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at first I felt like this lacked a bit of love between Chan and Changbin but I also think that's an important part of the story
> 
> anyways hope you enjoyed this one, i kinda just threw it together. perhaps there'll be a sequel/2nd chapter but probably only if someone wants it
> 
> you can find me on twt @ dreaminists
> 
> comments are always appreciated, thank you guys!!


	2. Losing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changbin feels like he's lost something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the second part of idk how many chapters, sorry to keep you waiting!

Changbin returned from his shower to find his phone had two missed calls and three messages from Woojin. He was in the middle of typing out an apology and telling Woojin he was in the shower when Woojin called him.

"Hi hyung," He greeted, feeling nervous for no reason.

"Oh, you answered. Must be my instincts."

Changbin could hear the smile in his voice. "You were pretty off the other times..." He teased, drying his hair with a towel.

"Bold of you to be rude to the man that's taking you out tonight. We're gonna go on the date we both should've been taken on but haven't because... I don't know, people suck, I guess?" Woojin rambled on, saying something along the lines of 'other people always let me down, but you're always around'.

Changbin was lucky they were talking on the phone because, damn, he was blushing  _hard_. He panicked and reverted to his go-to word. "Huh?"

Woojin just laughed. "Put some warm clothes on, I'll be there in ten."

Changbin grinned before turning to pick something half decent from his extensive collection of the ten items he actually wore. He calmed himself down because it was Woojin and he didn't really care what Changbin looked like.  _Plus, it's not like it's a real date._ He settled on his trust-worthy black jeans and even more trust-worthy grey hoodie. For the number of times it had been washed, it held its' condition well.

Woojin drove him  _somewhere_ ; he wouldn't tell him where despite Changbins' constant guesses and questions.

"We're here," Woojin said as he parked the car in front of an arcade. "You said you haven't been ice skating in a while, right?"

Changbin nodded, a bit dumbfounded because he barely remembered telling Woojin that. He shivered as soon as he stepped inside because, well, it was literally freezing.

"So cute," Woojin threw his head back in laughter as he saw the size of Changbin's skates.

Changbin was quite a small boy, always had been, and his shoe size was no exception. He simply pouted at the older boy, "Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you. It's cute!"

"Whatever," Changbin mumbled to himself, ignoring the heat from his cheeks as he fitted the skates on. Apparently, it  _had_  been a while since he'd done it because Woojin ended up doing it for him.

"Good?" Woojin asked from in front of Changbin, leaning on his knees as he tightened the straps.

Changbin nodded, giddy to finally get on the ice. He trailed behind Woojin slowly, his eyes glued to the taller boy. Upon seeing the people glide on the ice so freely, so easily, he gulped. There's no way he could do that. Clutching onto the rail, he watched Woojin glide along so  _gracefully,_ while he looked like a newborn giraffe.

"You coming?" Woojin whirled around, tilting his head as he saw that Changbin was still at the edge of the ice. He hadn't moved from his spot, too fixated on how naturally Woojin was moving. Is there anything he isn't good at?

"Yeah, I kinda forgot how to skate..." He tried moving his legs the same way everyone else was, but it wasn't working.

"It's okay, you just need to get used to it." Woojin lingered next to him with a reassuring smile.

"You go ahead, hyung. I'll take a while to figure this out."

Woojin watched him with worried eyes. "You sure?"

"Positive." He nodded at him, pushing him on the back gently.

Woojin had managed to do multiple laps while Changbin stayed glued to the sides, his knuckles white from holding on. Eventually, Changbin managed to move around without holding onto anything.

Despite his many falls, he felt proud at the small improvement. He let go of the rail, slowly but steadily skating towards Woojin, who was clapping and cheering him on,  _loudly_. He grinned, eyes glued to the older boy as he got a bit closer every second.

Before he knew it, he was lying on his back, his head thumping. Woojin skated over in light-speed, sliding onto his knees right next to the boy on the ground.

 _That must've hurt_ , Changbin thought to himself as he sat up, completely forgetting that he himself had just landed on his back, bumping his head on the ice in the process.

"Changbin!" Woojin's hands came up to hold his cheeks, checking his face for  _something_. He brushed up Changbin's hair at the back to see that he wasn't bleeding but the area was red. "Poor baby! Is it sore?"

Changbin just let out a giggle, completely missing the pet name, instead wondering how he'd managed to fall backwards like that. "I'm fine." He continued laughing as Woojin helped him stand up.

"This was a bad idea," Woojin mumbled to himself, holding on Changbin as if he would fall at any second.

"No, it was a good idea." Changbin managed to calm down enough to give the older a sincere smile.

"But-"

"Shut up, hyung. Thank you. Really. It was just what I needed." He sighed, smiling up at him with wide doe eyes. He looked adorable, his cheeks rosy, nose red from the cold air, and lips swollen from being constantly chewed on. Woojin smiled at the younger boy, happy to have seen him so happy.

"Uh, you're welcome," He glanced away, before taking Changbin's hand. He slipped his fingers between Changbin's, relaxing at the warmth. "C'mon, let's skate together. I won't let you fall anymore."

Changbin was glad Woojin wasn't looking at him because then he would have to explain his blushing face and wide grin. He really hoped his hands weren't too sweaty, despite it being cold as hell.

_It's not a date. It's not a date. It's not a date. It's not-_

"Binnie, you're doing it!"

Changbin snapped up his head at that, confused at what Woojin said; he was skating by himself at the same pace as everyone else. But of course, all good things must come to an end. As he should have guessed, he lost his balance, falling to the ground in a half-split position, his knee knocking against the ice.

"Binnie, what are we gonna do with you?" Woojin shook his head a smile, holding out his hand for Changbin. "I think you've gotten hurt enough for today, hmm?"

Changbin, not having any energy left to do anything, nodded, letting Woojin pull him towards the exit. He hummed a non-existant tune to himself as Woojin started the car.

The older glanced at him with a smile, "Are you sure you don't have a concussion?"

Changbin giggled. "I don't have a concussion. I'm  _happy_."

They went to a restaurant for dinner, because both of them had underestimated just how tiring ice-skating was.

"Bin, your jacket is wet!" Woojin removed his hand from Changbin's back. He began to remove his own jacket when Changbin waved him off. A stern glare from Woojin was all it took for Changbin to accept. Woojin held it out as the younger boy slipped his arms into the much too big jacket, laughing as it came down to Changbin's mid-thigh.

Changbin grumbled something about looking like a kid as they sat down, clutching onto the too-long sleeves. Perhaps he should've been a bit more sly when inhaling the scent it carried, but at least it earned him a melodic laugh from Woojin.

The server was a lady in her mid-forties, who Woojin had commented was way too kind and entertaining to be working in a restaurant.

"Tell me about it, honey." She'd flipped her hair dramatically, sending both of them into a fit of giggles.

Getting sidetracked from their order, she began telling them about her dreams to be a singer, spare the fact she was tone deaf. Woojin lit up at that, telling her about what he did, speaking more passionately than a four-year-old explaining his love for toys.

Changbin simply admired how natural Woojin was with people. He'd always been an extroverted person, but it still shocked Changbin when he saw just how easily he got along with people.

"Are you two on a date?" She asked suddenly as she jotted down their orders. Changbin choked at her question, his face heating up as Woojin just laughed.

"Friend date," He nodded, handing her the menus.

"Hmm, I just thought that because you looked good togeth- nevermind. Apologies boys." She waved her hand as she walked away, leaving them in silence.

Changbin almost laughed at that because Woojin was  _way_  too good for him in every way possible. 

 

 

Two days later, he updated Woojin on his injuries, as Woojin had made him promise.

_seobin: my head is fine but I think my butt is bruised_

_woojins: poor binnie :( I'll bring you some lunch_

Well, who was Changbin to deny him? Woojin ended up spending the whole day there, he and Changbin giggling and talking about  _everything_ , until the front door rattled. Changbin had his argument ready if Chan questioned him.

_You live with your boyfriend, aren't I allowed to have a friend over?_

Thankfully, Chan and Minho just smiled and greeted Woojin before going to cuddle on the couch. Changbin followed Woojin into Changbin's room, fake gagging behind the closed door at their PDA. Just knowing that they were in the room next to them made Changbin anxious.

Woojin noticed, immediately putting a hand on his shoulder. "You okay, Binnie?"

He nodded distractedly because they were talking rather loudly so what if they were-

"Hey, wanna come to my place?"

He snapped his head up, shocked at the sudden question. "Oh. Yeah. Ok. Sure."

"I'm not holding you at gunpoint, Changbin. Only if you want to."

"Hey, that's not what I meant!" He whined, pulling out his backpack and some clothes. Woojin watched him curiously, raising an eyebrow.

"You are gonna let me stay the night, aren't you?" Changbin looked up to Woojin's wide eyes.

He blinked a few times before nodding. "W-uh, yeah, of course."

"I'm not holding you at gunpoint, hyung," He teased, making the older boy grin, before opening the bedroom door. "Let me get my toothbrush and then we can go." After getting his toothbrush and toothpaste, Changbin approached the couch slowly, standing a safe few meters away. "Chan hyung, I'm staying at Woojin's for the night. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Why don't you just stay here?" Minho asked, not taking his eyes off the t.v.

Changbin froze at the question, half because he was talking to Chan,  _not_  Minho, and secondly, how was he supposed to answer that?  _I don't want Woojin hyung around you, Minho._

It was visible, probably, because Woojin then stepped in. "I have a puppy at home. I can't leave him alone for too long." He answered convincingly, smiling at them.

"Have fun," Minho said, probably relieved because Changbin was, for once, not home. Chan shifted his focus from Minho long enough to wave at them as they left.

Changbin felt relieved as soon as they stepped out of the house. "You don't have a puppy," He stated as he pulled on his seatbelt, melting into the cool leather seats of Woojin's car.

"You didn't have a good enough reason." Woojin shot back with a grin. He had dyed his hair from when Changbin had last seen him; the blonde was now vivid purple. Changbin couldn't help but think that Woojin was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

 

 

After the hours of mindless talking, the two of them fell asleep on the couch. Changbin was awoken by the couch buzzing, or rather, his phone.

"Hello?" He answered groggily, blinded by the light of his phone in the dark room. 

"Hyung! Did you just wake up?"

"You woke me up, Jinnie." He mumbled, rubbing his eyes with a yawn.

"Oops sorry. Not really. I have a surprise." The giddiness in his voice was evident, even a half-asleep Changbin could hear it.

Changbin let him continue after a "Mhmm."

"Are you home right now?"

He got suspicious at that, narrowing his eyes even though Hyunjin couldn't see him. "No, I'm at Woojin hyungs'."

"Hyung!" Hyunjin squealed, making Changbin wince. "Ok, send me his address."

"What? Why? Wait, are you here?!" Changbin sat up at that, eyes wide with excitement.

He just laughed, sending a shiver through Changbin. "See you soon, hyung. Don't be making out when I get there."

Shocked, he stuttered at the beep of Hyunjin hanging up on him. "Hwang Hyunjin! Wait- You brat, I swear-"

"Bin?"

Changbin gasped loudly, clutching his phone, relaxing when he saw it was just Woojin. His hair was sticking up in different directions, and Changbin found it hard to stop himself from fixing it. He looked away, clearing his throat.

"Uh, my friend wants to come over. Is that okay?"

"Oh, Hyunjinnie? Of course," Woojin hummed, running a hand through his hair before stretching his back like a feline. Changbin gulped at the sight of his muscles contracting under his thin shirt, tearing his eyes away to instead get ready to see his best friend.   
  
Just as he'd guessed, the two of them got along like salt and pepper. They were both talkers, so he shouldn't have been surprised when they brought up Chan and Minho.

"Bin had some feelings for someone."

Hyunjin's face twisted into shock, and Changbin felt a bit guilty that he'd been left in the dark. "Who? Chan hyung?"

Changbin choked on air while Woojin nodded.

"W-no! Not Chan hyung! Ew!"

Woojin did a rather dramatic double take, his hand flying up to Changbin's shoulder. "Wait, it's not Channie?"

"Why would I like Chan hyung like that? He's literally like my big brother! Oh my god." Changbin gagged at the thought, gasping for air dramatically to prove his disgust.

Hyunjin was already laughing when the other two were reduced to wheezes and gasps, tears leaking out of their eyes.

"Woojin-ah, you don't know me at all, do you?" Changbin held his hand to his heart, faking hurt. "Look, I didn't love him, I don't think. I just thought I did because I didn't like the relationship. I was jealous of him, ok, for being able to make Chan hyung so happy because I never could."

The three of them were silent at Changbin's sudden confession. He wasn't sure why he'd told them, but it certainly made him feel better.

"So you were just conflicted," Woojin confirmed to himself, nodding shortly. "Ok. Good."

Neither Hyunjin or Changbin commented on it. Though, Changbin did see Hyunjin's mouth twist into a small smile. He would ask him about that later. 

 

 

The next day, Hyunjin went back to Seoul. It was afternoon by the time he'd boarded the train, and Woojin and Changbin were there to wave as he left.

"Better get you home, hmm Binnie? Don't wanna miss any more classes."

If anyone else had said it, he would've found it condescending but it was Woojin and he knew he really cared. Woojin drove him home, thanking him for introducing Hyunjin to him, and wishing him a good day at university.

Since the day Hyunjin had gone back to Seoul, Changbin hadn't seen or talked to Woojin or Hyunjin. That was a month ago. Changbin never did get a chance to ask Hyunjin about what Woojin had said.

He wasn't sure when, but Changbin felt himself starting to drift apart from both Woojin and Hyunjin, which was sad because they were the two who had been there for him during  _everything_. 

It was only his fault. He had a tendency to become detached from people, pushing them away until the feeling was mutual. 

He also hadn't been talking to Jeongin and Seungmin as much. Jisung and Felix were his only source of socialization, mostly because he saw them at university every day. The only reason he'd left his house for the past month was to go to his classes, and even so, he was missing more classes than before. He just  _couldn't_  go and he wasn't sure why. He hoped he wasn't starting to hate his chosen course, it's not like he would change anyway. 

"Hyung, what time did you sleep last night?"

Changbin blinked at the question Felix had blurted out. "This morning?"  
  
"You really should try and get more sleep." Felix frowned at him, making him divert his gaze. "You look more tired every day."

"Lix, it's not that easy," Jisung put a hand on his shoulder, signaling for him to stop, though he was frowning at Changbin too. 

"I know it's not! But it's like he doesn't care anymore!" Felix snapped, shrugging Jisung's hand off. "Let's just do the project."

Jisung shrugged back in on himself, leaning away from Felix at the sudden outburst.

There it was. Changbin was wreaking havoc everywhere he went, slowly but surely pushing people away and ruining all of his, and other peoples, relationships.

Changbin felt guilty; Jisung and Felix were the last people he wanted to worry about him. He knew that they were struggling with university as much as he was, so he would rarely let them know when things were wrong. Of course, they were both smarter than they let on and always knew when something was wrong. 

As Changbin was about to leave, he felt a tap on his shoulder. It was Felix, looking at the floor and fiddling with his fingers.

"I didn't mean to get angry. I just don't like seeing you like that. You get it, right?"

"It's okay, Lix. I don't like seeing me like this either. But I'll be fine, promise?"

Felix smiled, worry still clear on his face, but as he met Changbin's eyes, he nodded. 

 

 

That night, feeling too suffocated in his room, Changbin cleared his head by driving to Han River. The last time he was here, he'd met up with Woojin. He wouldn't do that today. Instead of thinking of someone he didn't want to be thinking about, he walked to a small ice cream shop. 

"What can I get you?"

"A small cup of lemon sorbet please," He pulled out his wallet and handed the boy some money. 

As he turned around, Changbin eye's lingered on the server, who was called Jungwoo. He was tall and lanky, slim with a small waist, and a beautiful face of soft features. He turned around with a soft smile, handing Changbin his change. 

"Thanks." His heart lurched a bit as their hands brushed. That's how desperate he was for human touch, even a stranger seemed to make his heart pound. 

_You can't handle anyone else._

He wasn't exactly sure what he meant but it made sense anyway. Changbin sighed at himself, sinking into the uncomfortable wooden chair, his eyes scanning over the dimly lit horizon. 

The wind was blowing harshly and Changbin, being the idiot he was, was shivering while eating something frozen  _and_  sour, wearing only a thin windbreaker. At this point, he didn't even care, at least he was feeling  _something_. 

Changbin sunk into his seat as he heard two familiar voices from behind him, hoping that they wouldn't come any closer. 

"Oh, Changbin hyung?" Jisung's voice entered his ear. 

 _Shit_. He glanced back hesitantly to see Jisung and Felix standing with an ice cream cone in each of their hands. 

"You here alone?" Felix glanced to the seat next to him with a raised eyebrow. 

"Mhm, just treating myself for getting good marks on the exams." He flushed slightly. "You?"

"Felix really wanted ice cream. Thought we would explore the city for the night." Jisung's eyes widened as ice cream dripped down his hand. Felix shook his head with a laugh, wiping it with his own napkin. 

"Sounds fun," Changbin grinned at them. "Be careful at night."

Felix nodded with a smile, "you too, hyung. Bye bye." He waved before slipping his hand into Jisung's, the two walking away with hushed whispers.

Changbin smiled to himself, hoping that they had finally worked things out instead of pining for each other with Changbin between them. As they left, Changbin felt his energy leave too. He slumped in the chair, watching the water lap at the edge of the river bank. It made him feel at ease, but at the same time, it made him yearn for something. 

He had friends everywhere and yet, he'd never felt so alone. 

 

[|visual|](https://twitter.com/dreaminists/status/1063024349660176387?s=21)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me so long to upload, i'm sorry :((((
> 
> i've got 2 or 3 more chapters mostly written so they should come out in about a week, or earlier if i'm too impatient
> 
> thank you for reading :)


	3. Jaded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old feelings come back to Changbin.

Changbin sat on his bed, eyes scanning over his essay. It was finished, he was proofreading now, making sure it was at least worthy of a pass. It was rather difficult, due to what was going on just outside his bedroom door. 

"Oh now you're leaving?" Chan's voice boomed through the house. "You're not going there!"

The front door slammed shut. Less than a second later, Changbin's own door was being banged on by Chan's fist. 

"Get your keys." 

Changbin did as he was told, too afraid to go against Chan when he was like this. Chan made him drive to wherever Minho had gone. A friend's house maybe. Chan wasn't even drunk, so Changbin wondered why he was driving him. He quickly caught on when Chan began calling Minho, mumbling curses to himself as it rang. Changbin was simply a chauffeur so Chan could yell at Minho some more.  _This boy doesn't waste any time._

"Fuck you! Pick up the fucking phone!" Chan yelled as the call went to voicemail. Maybe it was a good thing Minho didn't pick up for now. Changbin didn't need to hear what they were fighting about, he had already heard enough. "You piece of shit! Fucking asshole."

Changbin gritted his teeth in frustration. The insults meant for Chan were deafening. Not just in their volume, which was alarmingly loud for the usually cheerful boy, but in the anger and the hurt that was evident. Changbin felt the words as if they were directed at him. 

"Drive faster!" Chan yelled in the middle of ringing Minho yet again. 

"Don't fucking yell at me!" Changbin growled back, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "I'm not losing my license for you." He eyed the speedometer warily. He was speeding already, but slowing down would mean getting an earful from Chan. And if that happened again, he might consider crashing the car altogether. 

They arrived at the house in what felt like hours, though it was less than a twenty-minute drive. 

"Go home now." Was all Chan said to him as he got out of the car, slamming the door shut. Changbin flinched, rubbing his forehead frustratedly. 

At least he would have some time before they got home. If they came home today. Like always, he hoped nothing bad would happen, but it was hard to tell with them. With the two of them having temper problems, both on medication that was  _supposed_  to help with their mood, it wasn't a stretch to say that anything could. 

When Chan and Minho did come home, it was obvious. The slamming doors, shuffling feet and loud yet muffled voices were a common thing in their household. He never understood them. Everytime something like this happened, they would agree to speak about the subject properly or calmly, or even see someone for their problems, but they never did. 

When he was sure the coast was clear, Changbin dashed out of his room and into the kitchen for a glass of water. Except he was wrong. Minho was sitting on the barstool, his head in his hands. 

It was too late to turn back because Minho had already seen him. Changbin filled up with cup with water, his eyes flickering all over the place due to the tension. 

"Sorry Bin, I don't know why he made you do that." Minho sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

Changbin could tell he was sorry. It wasn't his fault, not this time anyway. Minho had fucked up this time, sure, but it was Chan who had made the situation so much worse. His anger was an issue, everyone knew this. But with the new medication, it was even worse than before. 

He nodded at Minho as he went back to his room. Changbin slumped onto his bed, curling into his pillow.

His vision went slightly blurry as he teared up. Having someone with him would make things so much better, but as always, he had to isolate himself from people until he was alone. 

He had stopped telling Seungmin and Jeongin of his problems, because they were young and they didn't need to be worrying about him. Felix and Jisung too, because they had their own problems to worry about. He hadn't spoken to Woojin since Hyunjin had left. As for Hyunjin, they sent each other a message every other day and it took a few days to get a reply. That's the way it had always been since Changbin had moved, but he was now faking the smiles in the pictures he rarely sent to Hyunjin. Part of the lack of communication was that Hyunjin had moved to Seoul for school and was now busy attending full-time classes. But Changbin knew he himself was the one at fault. Their conversations didn't flow they like used to. Seeing Hyunjin's name in the notification bubble didn't make Changbin smile as much anymore. 

It was so easy for him to call or message any one of his friends, but he couldn't move. He didn't want to. He  _wanted_  to be alone. No one could get hurt that way, no one would hurt him. 

 

 

One of the best reasons to go to his parent's house, apart from seeing his family, was to meet up with his friends. Except now Hyunjin had moved to Seoul for his school. With Hyunjin's schedule and Changbin's limited time in Yongin, it would be too hard to try and meet up.

But that was okay. He had other friends. Instead, he turned to one of his oldest friends, Mark. Sure they had drifted apart over the years, but they were still close since they'd seen each other grow.

It was also nice to be away from Chan and Minho, though he would never admit that to them or his parents. Except then he had to lie to his parents and say that  _yeah Minho hyung and Chan hyung are great!_

"Why did I leave this place again?" Changbin mumbled, stirring his iced black coffee with the straw.

"Um, your parents?" Mark replied, glancing to see if he had said the wrong thing.

"Oh yeah." He sipped his drink with a sigh. Mark was right. At age eighteen, fresh out of high school, Changbin wanted nothing more than to move out and live with his  _best friend_  Chan. Of course, he didn't expect things to end up like this. 

"Do you like it there? I mean, you just seem..." Mark hesitated. 

Changbin caught on, nodding gloomily. "Bored? Hm, I am. It's lonely there. It's my fault, though. I  _was_  the one who moved away from everyone."

"Have you ever thought about moving back here?"

"All the time. I won't, though. Not for now anyway. As much as I do love my friends here, I'd rather be lonely there than be here and deal with my parents. No offence." He offered Mark a sheepish smile, realizing he'd pretty much just told Mark he preferred being alone to being near him. 

"Hey, no, I get it man. Don't stress."

That's how it was with Mark. Chill. Mark never seemed to make him nervous. Maybe in another universe, Mark was meant to be his best friend. But it was Hyunjin and he knew he should fix things soon. Or Mark did, at least.

Mark managed to convince him to just talk to Hyunjin because  _he's your best friend and you can't just leave him in the dark like that_.

"People in our grade used to talk about you two, you know? Everyone. About how long you guys had been friends. You were the only ones to have been friends from middle school to the end of high school. You were the only pair that lasted." Mark said softly. "Don't let it die."

Changbin was thankful for his outsider perspective, hoping that he was still able to fix things with Hyunjin. And Woojin. Seungmin and Jeongin too. 

Wow, he had made a mess of things. 

 

 

Changbin wasn't exactly sure what was happening. He wasn't sure how he'd gotten himself into this position. It might have something to do with the tall boy in front of him that had stepped closer and closer until his back was flush with the wall.

"Changbin-ah," the teasing voice brought attention back to himself.

When Changbin looked into those dark eyes, he knew he was done for. In a matter of seconds, his hands were held against the wall at his head level. He sucked in a breath at the tight but comforting hold, his heart beating out his chest.

The person leaned in slowly, his eyes tracing over Changbin's face for just a second before tilting his head and kissing him. It was sweet, at first, and it made Changbin melt inside, his entire body weakening at the contact.

He felt it too, moving his hands to Changbin's hips to hold him in place. Cold fingers grazed over his stomach, making him gasp. At that, Changbin felt his lip being tugged on before his mouth was opened by the other's tongue.

He reluctantly brought his hands up to the nape of the other, twisting the soft hair around his finger. A hum of appreciation vibrated from the others' mouth into his own, making him tug just a bit harder. The taller boy was taking all he could get from Changbin, prodding around with his tongue and unintentionally clashing their teeth. Changbin raked through the others' hair roughly, curling his fingers into the tufts. A groan erupted from the back of the others' throat, followed by something more sensual; a moan.

Changbin's head was so clouded that he didn't even register what was happening until the person pulled away.

"Interesting," he licked his lips with a smile. Not the kind of smile Changbin had usually seen on him, but darker, almost smug.

Suddenly their entire bodies were pressed together as the person leaned down once again. He caught Changbin's bottom lip in his, biting with enough pressure to elicit a tiny whimper from Changbin. He might have felt his face heat up at the noise if his entire body wasn't already on fire.

He stepped closer to the smaller boy, fitting a long leg between Changbin's smaller ones. His thigh brushed up against Changbin's crotch as he leaned in, nuzzling his head where Changbin's neck met his collarbone, and prodding around with his lips. Changbin's hand flew up to his broad shoulders at the contact, his nails digging into the soft skin and pulling the other boy impossibly closer.

_Oh. Has he always been shirtless?_

The tall boy chuckled against his skin, his hot breath making Changbin shiver. This guy was on a mission alright.

 _This,_  Changbin sighed,  _this is what life should feel like._

The sudden nip at his skin then the absence of feeling made Changbin whine, but he soon quietened as he set eyes on the other. He had stepped back just enough to let his eyes trail over Changbin's dishevelled state, smirking at the red spots on his neck.

Changbin blinked up at him, wide-eyed and panting. Deciding he hadn't had enough, he pressed his lips onto Changbin's in a slow and deep kiss, laughing as the shorter chased his lips with a pout when he pulled away.

Finally letting his guard down, Changbin let his head loll back against the wall. 

He ran his hands through the slightly sweaty hair of the short boy, smiling as he closed his eyes at the touch. He rubbed over the swollen lips that looked so inviting, biting his own at the sight. "So pretty. So, so pretty." The taller one mumbled, watching in admiration as Changbin leaned into the hand stroking his cheek.

"I love you, Jinnie," he sighed, the nickname slipping out easily. 

Changbin jumped awake at that, a million thoughts running through his head. Dreams weren't supposed to be  _that_  vivid. He knew who the person was in the dream at the time, but he couldn't remember anymore. All he remembered was dark hair, even darker eyes, and a name that was _so familiar_.

Changbin's hand shot up to where the marks would have been, then to his lips, tracing over the burning skin.

_Who was it?_

 

 

"Bin-ah, I'm going out with Woojin," Chan said as he picked up his keys.

Changbin was rather shocked to hear that because Chan has repeatedly expressed that he didn't like spending time out with anyone but Minho or himself. 

Hanging out with Chan wasn't what it used to be, Woojin decided. It felt like neither of them wanted to be there. Minho was working late so maybe Chan just wanted a distraction until he came home. Evidently so because Chan just kept ordering drinks that were too strong for him, too busy drinking to talk to Woojin.

It wasn't nice to feel like a back-up, just like he was now. Woojin felt a pang in his heart. This was how Changbin must feel every day.

"So Channie," Woojin sipped his beer, "why are you so tense?"

He knew it was an open-ended question, and he knew that, when drunk, Chan would indulge all of his secrets. Just as he thought, Chan spilled his thoughts with no filter, talking about how much he needed Minho next to him and that being without him was the worst thing ever. 

It was 4 o'clock when Chan and Woojin came back. Changbin shouldn't have been awake but no-one was really surprised at this point. He couldn't sleep so he just stayed up, scribbling lyrics that probably wouldn't make sense to anyone else. His dream from the previous night had completely slipped his mind. 

"Chan hyung, did you walk Areum for a walk yesterday?" Changbin asked even though he already knew the answer. 

"For, like, f-five minutes." He slurred, failing to put his keys on the hook about six times before giving up and throwing them on the counter.

Changbin growled in the back of his throat. "Hyung, you shouldn't do that! Either let her be or wear her out! She's been howling all night! It's not like I could take her out when it's dark!"

Things had been building up on Changbin lately, but really, when weren't they? From the Minho and Chan's yelling every other night, to the overwhelming amount of assignments and exams he had, he was suffocating in the place that was supposed to be the escape from his old life. 

Chan didn't even look at him. He just waddled along, that was how you knew he was drunk, if not for everything else that was off with his behavior, waving his hand at Changbin.

Changbin huffed, slamming his notebook shut and making for his room. That was until he saw Woojin standing in the hallway, fumbling with his keys.

"Oh, hey," he trailed off, glancing at his face. 

_Nice, Changbin, you haven't seen him in almost two months and you say 'oh hey'. Idiot._

"Hi, Bin." Woojin nodded, taking in Changbin's appearance like he always did. They stood silently for a minute before Woojin finally spoke. "Have you been avoiding me?"

"No," His voice came out quiet, not as he had intended. He really hadn't, not on purpose. He'd somehow always missed his calls, then not had a chance to call him back because it was too late at night, then forgotten to text him. It was a mess. He could see why Woojin must've thought he was ghosting him.

Well, except for that one time he just really didn't want to see Woojin for  _some_  reason he couldn't figure out. He teared up, he wasn't sure why. Maybe just because of  _everything_. Because Woojin was there.

"No, it's okay, I was just-" Woojin sighed, fidgeting with his keys again. "Do you wanna come to mine?"

Changbin grabbed his keys, signaling yes to him. The air between them was tense, uncomfortable. It hadn't ever been like that the whole time they'd known each other.

"You can have whatever you want. I'm gonna change." Woojin gestured to the kitchen before disappearing into his room.

Changbin's hand hovered at the bottle of vodka. "Fuck it," he mumbled to himself, pouring it into a glass.

Woojin returned in some more comfortable clothes. "That's not water." He chuckled as he looked at the liquid in the glass. "You're wild. Even I don't do that."

Changbin smiled a bit before downing it in one gulp, sighing as his burned his throat. It was weirdly comforting to him, which he knew was dangerous and probably how most alcoholics felt before they were addicted.

The two of them sat in silence, watching the trees sway in the gentle wind. Changbin felt the stress leave him when he was with Woojin, even if they were just sitting, not talking.

Woojin rubbed the palms of his hands on his sweatpants nervously. "I get you, Changbin. I get that you're scared of letting your guard down and letting people in, but you don't have to be. Not everyone is going to hurt you, you should know that. You know I'm not..." He stopped himself because he wasn't quite sure what he was trying to say.

"It's not that, hyung. I know you're not like that. I just...  _like_  being alone. I've always been alone, even when I'm with others. But then with you, you make me happy and I miss you all the time. I don't want to be... attached." Changbin babbled on mindlessly, and he was sure he was going to regret saying some of these things. 

Woojin finally understood, losing the tenseness in his shoulders. "You don't want to be like Chan."

Changbin looked away, unable to stop his bottom lip trembling.

"Changbin..." Woojin was a little lost for words because Changbin actually opened up to him. Not about Chan and Minho, but about  _himself_. No matter how much he'd asked, he'd never gotten an honest answer from Changbin. 

Changbin burst into tears, sniffling between his words. "I d-don't w-wanna be like him." 

Woojin felt himself break at he saw the small boy, looking impossibly smaller, hunched in on himself. He wrapped his arms around Changbin, feeling him shake with each sob. Eventually, his tears ran out and his breathing returned to normal. Woojin's breath on his neck made him shiver slightly while the older rubbed his back soothingly. Changbin was quick to pull himself away, his face reddening as Woojin watched him. Woojin just smiled. And just like that, warmth filled Changbin's heart.

"What is it?" He tilted his head at Changbin's shy gaze.   
  
"Nothing." Changbin shook his head slowly. "Just... thank you."

Woojin smiled, his eyes almost closing with creases beside them, his two front teeth poking into his bottom lip.  _Fuck_. Changbin had always looked at him with respect, admiration, love. And yeah, he'd always thought Woojin was handsome. But things just felt different now. 

"I shouldn't have had the vodka, I gotta piss." He blurted, standing up with no grace, managing to knock his knee on the table. Changbin didn't really need to pee, he just needed to breathe for a second. 

Woojin's laughter filled his ears as he turned for the bathroom, cursing to himself in embarrassment. Reasons like this were why he believed Woojin would never see him as anything but a younger brother. 

The movie wasn't enough to keep Changbin's attention and he ended up studying the details of the house. If Changbin wasn't too preoccupied staring at the extremely interesting ceiling, he would've noticed Woojin's small glances. 

"Are you allergic to me or something?"

Changbin jumped a bit at his voice. "W-huh?"

Woojin grinned at him, shuffling towards the middle of the couch a bit more. He thought Changbin would get the idea from that but then again, Changbin was a bit naive when it came to things like this.

"Changbin-ah," he whined too cutely for a twenty-three year old man.

The younger boy smiled, turning his head to look at Woojin and mimicking his tone. "Woojin-ah.... hyung."

Woojin grinned, used to Changbin's knack for sometimes forgetting honorific terms that he was  _supposed_  to use. Teasing Woojin was fun, Changbin decided, because he always had funny reactions. Cute too, but Changbin wouldn't admit it to himself.

"Changbin-ah," he repeated, pouting this time, and Changbin noticed how much he looked like a certain cartoon bear. He burst out laughing at the thought, making Woojin pout even harder. "Hey, don't laugh at me!" He crossed his arms in fake-anger.

"S-sorry, you just," his laughter died down, "you reminded me of Pooh Bear. Except it's chicken instead of honey."

Woojin chuckled at Changbin's amusement. "Does that make you Christopher Robin?" 

Changbin pouted this time. "No, not Christopher."

"Oh bother." Woojin ruffled the younger's hair. "Piglet then."

"Piglet's good." He nodded. 

"Piglet is good. He's small and delicate and cute but tries his best. And he's always there for his friends. Did you know that Piglet gives up his own home for Owl and moves in with Pooh?"

"Huh," Changbin's eyes wandered around the living room in thought, "I didn't know that. I guess Piglet really loved Pooh."  
  
His eyes drifted back to the movie that neither of them had been paying attention to. Just one hour ago, he was a crying mess, and know he was smiling and happy and carefree. He had Woojin to thank for that. And he did, every time he saw the boy after that. No matter if they were talking about something else or not talking at all, he suddenly thanked the older being able to cheer him up so easily.   
  
Woojin laughed with a shake of his head, saying that it was no big deal and that it was basically his job. Whatever that meant.

 

For the first time since high school, Changbin called Hyunjin. 

He wasn't big on talking over the phone. He preferred messaging or talking face to face, but since the latter wasn't an option, calling Hyunjin would have to do. Plus, Hyunjin  _did_  like talking on the phone rather than messaging, and Changbin was okay with that if it was for Hyunjin. 

Changbin's heart almost thumped out of his chest as the line cut and Hyunjin answered. 

"Hello," he hesitated a little, "Is everything okay?" 

Changbin let out a soft breath. "Yeah, everything's fine, Jinnie. How are you?"

Changbin had realized a long time ago that he could listen to Hyunjin talk for hours, because of how much excitement and passion and depth his voice held. 

"Hyung?" Hyunjin's voice broke his train of thought. 

"Mmm?" 

"I miss you." His voice was soft, wavering a bit. 

Changbin's heart clenched, wanting nothing more than to pull the younger into a hug. "Hey, I miss you too. We'll meet soon, I promise. Tell me about school."

They switched to a video call so Hyunjin could show him around the dorm he shared with a roommate. It had a decently sized common area, and two bedrooms and a bathroom to share. 

"He's really nice but we barely see each other because our classes are always different. His name is Seungmin."

Changbin's mouth fell open at that.  _There's no way..._  It couldn't be his Seungmin, could it? Hyunjin rambled on until he said it was time for dinner. The cafeteria could get busy so it was better to play it safe and get there early. 

"Bye, hyung," his voice trailed off. "See you soon?"

"Yeah, Jinnie, you will. Now go get your food."

Just before the line disconnected, he heard a voice that wasn't Hyunjin's. The chances of it being  _Seungmin_  was slim but he could hope, right? Seoul was a populated place and Seungmin wasn't an uncommon name so maybe not... Even so, he wanted to make sure. He sighed in relief when he saw that Seungmin was online. 

_darkbinbinnie: seungmin seungmin you live in Seoul right?_

_dandymins: yeah.._

_darkbinbinnie: in a dorm for your school?  
_

_dandymins: I've told you this hundreds of times.. do you even listen to me??_

_darkbinbinnie: your roomate is hyunjin_

_dandymins: wait how do you know that?!_

_darkbinbinnie: oh my god_

_darkbinbinnie: minnie you room with my best friend  
_

_dandymins: hyunjin?  
_

_dandymins: oh you're the one he always talks about! I thought you sounded familiar..._

_darkbinbinnie: wait he talks about me??_ _  
_

_dandymins: yeah you're only his favourite person ever_

Changbin blushed at that. He was glad Seungmin couldn't see him because he was sure the younger would endlessly tease him for it.  _Favourite person ever._ He smiled, happy because Hyunjin was his favourite person ever too and even if Changbin was too stupid to see it sometimes, he couldn't ask for a better best friend. 

 

[|visual|](https://twitter.com/dreaminists/status/1063024349660176387?s=21)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um i'm sorry this took so long
> 
> i kind of think this chapter is all over the place idk..
> 
> also yes the visual is the same for each chapter
> 
> let me know what you think!
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated, thank you for reading xx


	4. Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all came at once.

Things had become better with Hyunjin and Woojin, and he felt happy, despite his household falling apart every other day due to a certain couple. It was bad. They were fighting more than ever, so much so that Changbin couldn't sleep most nights in fear of them taking it too far and hurting each other. He could slowly feel his patience lessen every time a door slammed. How long was he going to put up with them? 

It wasn't something he talked to Hyunjin about much, because it was hard enough to say it aloud, how was he going to type it out? How was he supposed to flood Hyunjin with everything that had happened and not be there to tell the younger in person that things would be fine? It would only make him worry. 

Changbin kept it mostly to himself, sometimes talking to Woojin about it, but rarely because it was easier to just ignore it. To deal with it, he spent his nights out with Woojin, watching movies or trying out new cafes.

When Hyunjin visited the next time, the three of them had agreed that it would so much easier for both Hyunjin and Changbin to stay at Woojin's place. Chan and Minho were all for it, probably so they could get drunk and trash the house with their friends. Changbin tried not to think about it. 

It was a Monday, so Woojin was at work when Hyunjin arrived. Changbin stood at the station, looking around on his tiptoes for the tall boy, waving his arms frantically when he saw the long black hair that was  _almost_  a mullet. 

"Hyunjin-ah!" He cupped his hands around his mouth, shouting out towards him. 

Hyunjin spun around, a huge smile spreading across his face as he locked eyes with Changbin. He raced towards the older with his bag, throwing his arms around the smaller boy with so much force that Changbin stumbled back. 

"Woah," Changbin smiled, patting his back in a hug, "Hey, how was the trip?"

"Went quickly," Hyunjin mumbled, arms still tightly wrapped around Changbin. 

"That's good," He took the bag from Hyunjin, slapping the younger boy's hands away when he tried to take it back. "Why don't we go now, hm? Woojin hyung will be home in a few hours. You can help me make dinner."

He nodded his head rapidly, bouncing as Changbin led him to the car. 

 _Strange,_  Changbin thought to himself as Hyunjin looped his arm with Changbin's. 

 

 

Though it had only been hours since Hyunjin had arrived, Changbin was already used to the change in his personality; how he was so much clingier physically than before.

The taller had his arms wrapped around Changbin's waist, the two of them glued chest-to-back, as Changbin waddled around the kitchen to try and get dinner ready.

"Jinnie, you're making this really hard, you know?"

"I don't care. I haven't seen you for so long." He pouted, nuzzling his face in Changbin's hair.

He laughed, shaking his head. "It's only been two months. We once went for half a year without seeing each other, remember?"

"That wasn't fun," Hyunjin's words came out muffled. To Changbin's surprise, Hyunjin planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Seoul changed you." Changbin saw him look up at him from the corner of his eye.

"In a good way, right?"

Changbin flushed a bit, though he didn't get a chance to answer because the oven timer beeped. Hyunjin whined as he pulled away and sat down on the bar stool, complaining that it wasn't nearly as comfortable as Changbin was.

Changbin cooed at that, reaching out to pinch the younger boys' cheek, resulting in a blushing Hyunjin. "Jinnie, after we have dinner, you can hug me all you want, okay?"

He grinned triumphantly, spinning in his seat until Changbin called out that dinner was done. As if on cue, the front door opened, revealing a worn-out Woojin. Hyunjin jumped to his feet, greeting him at the door like an excited puppy. Woojin laughed, happily accepting the hug from Hyunjin, the two of them waddling into the kitchen in the same position Hyunjin and Changbin had been in before. Changbin grinned as he served the food, watching them from the corner of his eye.

"What?" Woojin tilted his head upon seeing Changbin pressing his lips together to stop his smile.

The latter just shook his head as brought over a pitcher of water and some cups.

Woojin, ever the sweet boy he was, kissed Hyunjin on the cheek and guided him to his chair, pushing it in for him, before sitting next to him. Hyunjin flushed at the gesture, obviously not used to being treated that way.

"What did you guys get up to today?" The oldest asked as he poured water into three cups.

"Nothing! It was really fun!" Hyunjin was beaming, and Woojin couldn't help but laugh too. 

Changbin smiled but internally frowned too, because Hyunjin must have been working so hard at school for him to find doing nothing fun. 

As promised, Changbin let Hyunjin use him as a pillow of some sort. Hyunjin was sitting on the couch, his legs wrapped around Changbin's waist, who was pressed onto his chest.   
  
"Aren't I more of a teddy bear?" Changbin mumbled, letting his head fall back onto Hyunjin's shoulder.   
  
"Did you call me?" Woojin appeared, smiling as he saw the two younger boys.   
  
Hyunjin giggled, patting the space beside himself. Woojin sat down, throwing his arm around Hyunjin's shoulder and reaching out to brush through the back of Changbin's hair.

"Let's pick a movie," Woojin suggested, settling in closer to Hyunjin.   
  
In the end, they settled on a random movie but it didn't matter because they were barely watching it. The three of them loved talking about the  _deep_  stuff, so it was inevitable that they came across the topic of sexuality and relationships.

Changbin and Hyunjin were the same; too focused on school to even think about a relationship. But where Changbin was open-minded, Hyunjin was  _probably straight_. That's what he'd told Changbin a while back anyway.

"I don't have a preference. If we love each other then that's enough." Changbin shrugged. 

"That's actually really cool. When I was your age, I would've sworn on my own life that I was straight." Woojin laughed, shaking his head at himself. "What about you, Hyunjinnie? You don't have to answer though. No pressure."

Hyunjin smiled softly. "No, I.. I like someone, I think. I've known him for a while. I'm scared to mess things up."

Changbin blinked at him, wide-eyed, because that was the first he had heard of it. As soon as he saw Hyunjin's face, he knew why. The youngest was confused, maybe a bit scared because it was new territory for him. He'd never liked a  _boy_  before.

"You should talk to him about it. If you really do like him, then I'm sure he's a good person." Changbin patted him on the shoulder.

Woojin nodded in agreement, ruffling Hyunjin's hair. "I'm sure he'd like you too. Why wouldn't he?"

 

 

The next night, Woojin and Hyunjin had gone out to buy ice cream after dinner. Changbin hummed to himself as he walked into Woojin's room in search of the laundry basket he knew was lying around somewhere. 

As soon as he set his eyes on Woojin's king-sized bed, he froze. That was it. The place where Changbin's  _mature-rated_  dream had taken place. Maybe he should've been able to recognize Woojin's bedroom before, considering he was pretty familiar with the place, but he couldn't help it. He didn't remember much of the dream until all the small details came rushing back to him. Changbin stumbled over to Woojin's bed, his head clouded as if he was intoxicated. He stared at that wall, trying to remember who was in the dream, why it was happening. A chill came over his body as the face finally appeared in his mind.

It was Hyunjin. It was Hyunjin that had held his wrists to the wall. It was Hyunjin that Changbin had made moan. It was Hyunjin that had almost kissed the life out of Changbin.

It was Woojin too. It was Woojin who was shirtless, who'd brushed up against him, who'd made the marks at his collarbone. It was Woojin who'd stolen the last, slower kiss.

It was both of them who'd cooed at Changbin afterward, telling him he was pretty and making him feel loved and wanted.

And it was Changbin who had confessed he loved  _both_  of them. 

A strangled gasp of disbelief left his mouth.  _No way. There's no way it was them. What kind of twisted dream-_

"Changbin hyung," Hyunjin sang as he opened the front door. "Hyung?" 

He peaked around the kitchen and living room, both empty. Of all the places he thought Changbin might be, Hyunjin didn't expect to see him at the foot of Woojin's bed, lying face down on the floor.

He hesitantly walked closer, sitting down beside the older boy. "Hyung, what's wrong?'

Changbin just huffed, curling himself into a ball. Hyunjin couldn't see his face, but he could tell the older was frowning. 

"Did you have a wet dream about Woojin hyung?" Hyunjin cackled to himself. 

What a badly timed joke. Changbin turned his head around, looking up at the younger boy with teary eyes.  _This is going to ruin everything._

"It wasn't a  _wet_  dream." He mumbled, readying himself for the end of his friendship with Hyunjin. "You were there too."

"What?" Hyunjin squeaked, almost falling backward.

Changbin brought his hands to his face, his cries coming out muffled. The younger was too stunned to say or do anything, so he just sat there until he heard the soft breaths from Changbin, meaning he was asleep. 

Woojin carried Changbin to the couch, setting him down there. Changbin was in a deep sleep, no doubt about it. He suddenly let out a grunt, followed by a whine. Hyunjin and Woojin stared at each other with wide eyes, silently telling the other to wake him up. Neither of them was sure where his dream was going. They stopped their telepathic argument to see that Changbin was now smiling, clutching onto a pillow at his chest. Both of them sighed as he reverted back to his innocent nature, carrying on with their activities.

Luckily for Changbin, neither of them was there to see or  _hear_  the small moans that slipped out of his mouth. He woke up panting, his heart pounding in his chest from the dream. It had taken a step up; if it was mature before, it was now explicit. Relieved to see that no  _other_  part of him was giving away what he'd dreamt about, he flipped onto his back and stuffed his face into the pillow. 

"Changbin, what's wrong?" Woojin's voice startled him as he tugged on the pillow. 

"It's nothing," he grumbled. He heard some shuffling and peaked out from under the pillow.  _Great_. Both Hyunjin and Woojin were there now. 

Woojin pulled the pillow away more forcefully this time, taking it out of the younger's hands. "Changbin, I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me- us."

_I've already fucked things up with Hyunjin, why not lose another friend? I'm on a roll today._

"I thought it was a one-time thing, hyung! It h-happened again!" He stuttered suddenly, startling both of them.

Woojin almost jumped at his voice. "What? What happened?" Hyunjin looked away from the smaller boy, knowing what it was about. "What do you know, Hyunjin? Spit it out." Woojin crossed his arms sternly, making Hyunjin gulp. He never was very good under pressure.

"Uh- he- well, you see," Hyunjin babbled on, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Changbin interrupted his rambling, hoping to just get it over with. "A dream. Both of you. On your bed. I said that I loved you. Again."

Woojin slowly pieced things together from Hyunjin's quick glances to Changbin, the tension in the air, and Changbin's hesitation.

Suddenly, Changbin was bawling, producing more tears than he thought was humanly possible. 

The youngest boys' panic left at the sight of his best friend crying. Hyunjin pulled the pillow away from his face, caressing his cheek so gently that Changbin could barely feel it.

"It's okay, hyung. These things happen," Hyunjin thumbed at his eyes gently, catching the tears in Changbin's eyelashes. "You'll be fine."

Changbin was in shock; how was Hyunjin so calm about this? His best friend had just admitted that he liked him, no, was  _in love_  with him, and all he could say was  _these things happen?_ It didn't feel right. He pulled himself away from Hyunjin's comforting hands, despite how much he wanted to be touched like that; innocently, tenderly, lovingly. It just wasn't the right kind of love. He flipped over, squeezing himself into the crook of the couch. Knowing what he meant, Hyunjin took a step back, looking almost as hurt Changbin felt.

Woojin, after shooting Hyunjin a questioning glance, took the opportunity, then, to kneel in front of Changbin. "Changbin," His voice was low, making the other two gulp. "Did it- does it mean something to you? Is that how you feel?"

They could barely see his head nod from underneath the pillow, but it was already painfully obvious from his behavior. Changbin wasn't one to be dramatic. Sure he was a bit whiny, but when things were serious, he was too. If it had meant nothing, he would have laughed it off, no matter how embarrassing it was. It was rather overwhelming for them to see him like this, no longer smiling or joking around.

"How long?"

"Half a year." Changbin croaked out, his voice muffled.

Woojin's arm snaked around his waist, rolling him onto his back. He brought his hand up to Changbin's hair, brushing it away from his eyes.

Changbin dodged it, similar to what he had done to Hyunjin. "Please d-don't touch me. I know you hate me." He was breathing erratically, pushing Woojin's insistent hands away every time they came back up to his hair.

Finally, he pulled his hands away with a sigh. "You're a fucking idiot, you know that?" Woojin's harsh stone startled the two younger boys.

Changbin peered up at him, expecting to hear things that would make his stomach twist. It did make his stomach twist, just, in a  _nice_  way.

"You're an idiot if you think we'd ever let anything get between us."

Woojin glanced up at Hyunjin, who was frozen the whole time, and signaled him over.

He knelt next to Woojin, placing a hand on the dip of Changbin's waist and squeezing softly. "I wasn't- I don't know what you understood from it but I meant that I know these things happen because they've happened to me too. Not a dream, but I've thought about it. A lot."

"Oh." Changbin nodded, before realization set in. " _Oh_."

In a split second, Hyunjin was laying down next to Changbin, so close that their noses were touching. Both of them blushed at the proximity, making Woojin laugh.

"Just kiss and make up already." He mumbled, raking his hand through both of their hair, letting them be.   
  
Changbin blinked up at his friend, and wow, he really was pretty. He'd never seen him from this close and he doubted he ever would again. 

"You're my best friend, hyung. You're irreplaceable." Hyunjin whispered as he slipped his legs between Changbins'.   
  
"So are you." Changbin reached out (not that far really) to brush over Hyunjin's eyebrow with his fingertips. He sighed, scrubbing at his wet eyes, "I thought I lost you."  
  
"Never." Hyunjin snaked his fingers between Changbin's, kissing his knuckle softly.   
  
Woojin watched on fondly, half wondering when Changbin would pick up on his advances, and half wanting to see them be this tender, this loving to each other forever. 

Hyunjin yawned loudly, leaning his head to rest on Changbin's chest. 

"Tired now? Is the bed okay or are you still traumatized?" Woojin teased, making Changbin look away with a red face. 

Hyunjin whined on Changbin's behalf, probably picking up on his embarrassment. They had all slept on a fold-up mattress the night before, but Woojin insisted that would only make their backs hurt. Hyunjin took the middle, insisting that he was most in need of cuddles, nuzzling up against Changbin's chest. Woojin had his arm loosely laying on Hyunjin's waist.

Changbin brushed the hair away from Hyunjin's face, before lifting his head to look at Woojin. "Thank you, hyung." He said with a soft smile.   
  
"Thank you for being honest, Binnie."

 

Two days later, Hyunjin had to take the train back to Seoul. He gave a kiss on the cheek to Changbin and Woojin, thanking them for making his trip so worthwhile. He shyly held on Changbin's hand, a small smile pulling at his lips. 

Changbin reached out to graze over Hyunjin's lips with his thumb, much like Hyunjin had done to him in his dream. He really,  _really_  wanted to kiss the plush lips he'd gotten used to seeing for years. "Um, maybe, let's pick up where we left off?"

He nodded eagerly, pulling the smaller boy in for a hug, then tugging on Woojin's arm for him to join in.  
  
"Study hard," Woojin ruffled his hair. "But not too hard. Maybe if your grades are good, we'll think about visiting." He said coyly, though both he and Changbin knew that they would visit no matter what. 

Hyunjin boarded with a determined smile, waving his hand from behind the window.

When they got back to Woojin's place, it already felt empty without the youngest boy there. 

"Changbin," Woojin glanced up at him, holding something in his hand. 

He frowned upon seeing what they were. Hyunjin's rings. "There's no way he forgot these. He loves them too much. His grandmother got them engraved for him." His face softened when realization set in. "Oh."

Woojin raised an eyebrow at him, inspecting the thick silver bands. One had  _03.20.2000_  and the other had  _H.H.J._  engraved.   
  
"He- he wants us to wear them." Changbin slipped the ring onto his thumb, sighing in relief when it fit perfectly. 

"Oh?" Woojin breathed out heavily, staring down at the ring for a few seconds before sliding it onto his middle finger. It stopped halfway between his palm and second knuckle, but he smiled anyway. 

Their phones buzzed at the same time, causing them to jump. 

"Hyunjin-" Woojin's eyes scanned over his phone. He had sent them a message asking if they got his present. 

_It's a piece of me to have always._

Both of them stayed silent, fiddling with their new rings. Hyunjin even wasn't there and he was making them flustered. If they saw each other blush, neither of them mentioned it. 

 

[|visual|](https://twitter.com/dreaminists/status/1063024349660176387?s=21)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh yes so that happened 
> 
> there's probably one or two chapters after this, we're almost done :(((
> 
> let me know what you thought!!
> 
> thanks for reading :)


	5. Taking Over Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changbin finally realises.

It had been three months since Hyunjin had left. In that time, a tiny bit of hope bloomed in Changbin's heart. Hyunjin hadn't rejected him or cut him off, so things were fine right? Of course, his stupid, overthinking brain had convinced him otherwise. Maybe Hyunjin was trying to let him down easy. He didn't want to be anything more than friends. He didn't really like Changbin like that. Of course not. There was that guy that Hyunjin liked, the one he had known for a while. The one who was probably perfect in every way, because it was Hyunjin, and he couldn't have been anything short of perfect.

His phone buzzed beside him, almost sending him into cardiac arrest.

"Guess what?" Woojin asked as soon as Changbin answered.

The younger boy was relieved that Woojin was speaking to him so casually, like he'd forgotten about Changbin's word vomit of feelings. Or just accepted it. Both seemed scary to Changbin.

"I don't get a hello?"

"No. I have to attend a meeting with a client in Seoul!"

Changbin kind of tuned out for the rest of the time Woojin was speaking. Like Hyunjin, he could go on and on forever, and Changbin found it rather cute.

"It's next week."

Huh, that was lucky. That was when Changbin had a break from classes. He was free to do whatever he wanted, meaning he could take the train to Seoul to see Hyunjin.

The next days until their trip to Seoul was a blur for Changbin, because he was possibly  _too_  excited. At the same time, he was nervous, almost sick to his stomach, because that meant he was seeing Hyunjin. Sure, they had messaged and talked over the phone, and everything seemed fine between them. But last time Changbin had seen him, he'd confessed that he was pretty much in love with him. So, yes, Changbin was pretty much losing his mind.

At least he could finally meet Seungmin.

 

 

The hallway Changbin was standing in was grand, made of up beautiful, detailed cornices, and carved out patterns that adorned the wall. Various artworks, presumably of the students', sat on wooden easels along the stretch of concrete path. He wondered how much an institution like this would cost.

Hyunjin had received a scholarship, one that would cover his accommodation and meals for his entire length of study. That was why the boy had been so stressed and busy, because he had to maintain good enough grades to keep the scholarship.

"Well well well, isn't this a coincidence?"

Changbin spun around to the direction of the voice. There stood Seungmin, wearing dark jeans and a light blue t-shirt. He was taller than Changbin imagined. A bit skinnier too, though his shoulders were kind of broad.

Changbin walked to his side with a smile. "Absolutely. It's not like we talked for like twenty hours trying to figure when we could meet up. Not at all."

"You didn't even greet me! Rude."

"You spoke to me first!" Changbin narrowed his eyes, before both of them broke out into laughter.

Talking to Seungmin was as easy as it was face-to-face as it was online, which made Changbin very happy.

"I don't like it here. It's too big for me. Suffocating. Once I graduate, I'm moving to a smaller city." Seungmin unlocked the front door of the dorm. "At least I have a good roommate. I can see why you like him, by the way."

Changbin coughed at his abruptness. "What?"

"Oh, don't try to be slick. You have heart eyes when you talk about him and I can't even see you!" Changbin didn't say anything, letting Seungmin ramble on. "Plus, he really does talk about you a lot. Like a lot. It was really hard to not just shout 'I know Changbin hyung looks cute with his hair like that. He sent me a picture too'." Seungmin threw a bag of chips at Changbin.

"Aw, you think I'm cute?" Changbin faked a giggle to hide the fact that he was actually blushing. So Hyunjin  _did_  talk about him in an 'I like him more than a friend' kind of way.

"Hyunjin does. I hope he'll finally shut up about you once he finds out we know each other."

"That, or he'll feel more comfortable and talk about me even more." Changbin teased him, laughing as the younger's eyes widened.

"God," he groaned, "it's too late to swap roommates, isn't it?"

Changbin realised how happy it made him to be able to hear Seungmin in person. One day, he'd have to meet up with Jeongin too.

"Ok, have fun surprising your boyfriend. I mean, best friend. Slip of the tongue." Seungmin cackled before letting himself out.

Changbin rolled his eyes. How did he even end up friends with him?

It was the same way he'd met Jeongin. Changbin has made a separate Instagram account to post his sketches, and sometimes lyrics, on. Seungmin and Jeongin had both been supporters of his account for a while before he decided to get to know them better. From there, a friendship bloomed between the three of them. They bickered about dumb things, and made jokes about each other, and spoke about the really heavy stuff, always being supportive of each other. It was a cute little family that Changbin had built. He hoped they could be a little escape from whatever hardships they were going through.

If it weren't for them, Changbin may have never come to terms with the fact that he was in love with two people, people that played a huge role in his life. It's not like he could have talked about Woojin with Hyunjin, or Hyunjin with Woojin, seeing as the two spoke to each other. He instead talked to Seungmin and Jeongin, and sometimes Jisung and Felix, who were all able to give unbiased, outsider perspectives. All he knew was that opening that account was one of his best decisions ever.

 

 

When Hyunjin returned from his class, he didn't expect to see Changbin sprawled out on the couch, elbow-deep in a bag of chips.

"Changbin hyung!" he squealed, letting his bag fall to the floor in the hallway.

The older boy sat up quickly, brushing the grains of the seasoning off of his knuckles. "Surprise!" He did some lame jazz hands that made Hyunjin giggle, while he was cringing at himself. Maybe he was okay with being pathetic if it made Hyunjin smile like that.

The younger boy wrapped his arms around Changbin's waist in a tight hug. "How'd you get in?"

"I harassed Seungmin until he let me in." Changbin shrugged. "We're friends. How cool is it that he's your roommate!"

Hyunjin's eyes widened as he pulled back. "You're the one he's always messaging with that huge smile?!"

"I wouldn't say always. There must be someone else..." He trailed off before straightening up. "Yang Jeongin!"

"Who?"

"Jeongin. A kid from Busan. He's adorable, you'd love him!"

"Where do you find all these friends from?" Hyunjin shook his head with a laugh.

"That's a secret." Changbin winked at him, making the younger snort.

Hyunjin nudged his shoulder with a smile. "So I thought you both promised to see me. I got good grades, I swear!"

"We didn't lie! Woojin hyung is in a meeting right now. He should be out in a couple of hours. Now tell me about this place."  
  
Hyunjin babbled on for half an hour, before he stopped in the middle of explaining that he spent every Thursday afternoon at Han River with Seungmin.

"So, how's things with Woojin hyung?"  

Panic entered Changbin's brain. He stuttered, missing the smile on Hyunjin's face. "W-what? What do you mean?" 

"Oh, give it up, hyung! Just tell him you like him already." Hyunjin just rolled his eyes.

He chose not to remind Hyunjin had he had actually told them that was in love with both of them. "I can't- He doesn't- He would never-"

Hyunjin took him by his shoulders. "Changbin hyung, you idiot. He looks at you like you hung the fucking moon and stars by hand." 

Changbin slipped out of the taller boys' hold, falling into a heap on the ground. He stuffed his face into the couch, almost suffocating from the lack of oxygen.

Had he really been that stupid? Did Woojin really like him as much as he liked Woojin?

"What now?" Hyunjin sat down next to him, rubbing his back gently. His shoulders relaxed at the contact, and if Hyunjin didn't already know it, he could see that Changbin was whipped for him. "Hey, wanna know something?" The older boy lifted his head at the question, blinking in expectation. "I do too."

At that, he let out a small whimper and looked away, unable to breathe under Hyunjin's intense gaze. He wasn't used to this, being flirted with, and definitely not by Hyunjin, his best friend of seven years. He almost couldn't believe it. Hyunjin was probably really sought after at his university, because he was really pretty and really smart and amazing in every way possible. Changbin thought he may have been dreaming again, except he could feel Hyunjin's finger ghosting over his skin. 

"Hyung, I swear," he took Changbin's hand in his own, tracing over his knuckles with his thumb, "you make me feel things I've never felt before."

Changbin teared up, inhaling shakily. He mentally cursed at himself for being so sensitive and sappy, but he couldn't help it. After spending so long panicking about ruining his friendships, he'd finally realised that the feelings were mutual. 

"Oh no, please don't cry! I'm sorry!" Hyunjin rambled, clumsily wiping the tears that hadn't even fallen yet. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

He was cut off by Changbin pulling him into a suffocating hug. Well, as suffocating as it could be since Changbin wasn't all that big compared to him.

"Shut up Hyunjin, oh my god." He sniffled with a laugh, resting his cheek on his shoulder.

The feeling of Changbins' breath on his neck made the younger shiver, before he pulled back to look at Changbin. Changbin was so entranced by the youngers' puffy lips that he didn't know he was leaning in until he was too close to back out. At the last moment, he diverted to his forehead instead, placing a chaste kiss there.

Hyunjin blinked at the contact, his mouth falling open in shock, a little bit because he  _was_  expecting a kiss on the lips, but also because that was the first time Changbin had kissed him  _ever_.

The older boy noticed his shock, his hand playing with the hair at Hyunjin's nape. "Seven years, Jinnie. We can take our time."

He nodded in response. 

"Kim Seungmin!" Changbin shouted excitedly as the front door opened. 

He was slightly delirious. From what? He didn't know. It was probably Hyunjin. Or the air in Seoul. Yep, that was it. Lack of oxygen, perhaps, or too many pollutants. 

"How do you put up with him?" Seungmin slumped into the couch, sighing as Changbin shook his shoulder. 

Hyunjin just shrugged, still stood in the same place. 

Changbin ignored them, shuffling a bit closer to the youngest. "Yang Jeongin." At that, Seungmin perked up a bit. "Aha! I knew it!" Changbin clapped his hands together, making the other two wince. "You like Jeongin."

"Who wouldn't? Have you seen that boy?" Seungmin sighed. 

"No." Hyunjin sat down on the other side of Changbin.

Seungmin then spent ten minutes showing Hyunjin pictures and gushing over how cute and sweet Jeongin was. At least he could now talk to Hyunjin about it. After all, Hyunjin had done that exact thing for the past four months.

 _Ah, young love,_  Changbin thought to himself with a smile. He was rather proud, because they had met through him. At least he did that right. 

His phone buzzed in the middle of Seungmin playing a video message Jeongin had sent Seungmin for his birthday. He waved his hand at the other two to tell them to quiet down their squealing at the video  Changbin too, had been grinning at the video moments before. 

"Woojin hyung's back at the apartment now."

"Oh, the other boyfriend." Seungmin mumbled to himself, pulling his phone out of a smiling Hyunjin's hands. 

"Hmm?" They both looked at him blank-faced. 

Seungmin shook his head. "Nothing. Ok, get out now. I have a video call scheduled with Jeongin in," he glanced at his watch, "seven minutes." 

 

 

"Shit, this place is nice," Changbin whistled as Woojin opened the door of their apartment. "How much did it cost?"

"They're a big company; one of their employees asking for an upgraded room is the least of their worries." Woojin shrugged. 

"Look at this shower head!" Changbin gasped dramatically. "Oh man, we're gonna have the best showers ever!" That did not sound the way he intended it to, though it did make Woojin and Hyunjin laugh. He fiddled with the moisturiser and shower cap, hoping they didn't see his reddened cheeks. "Wow, mandarin and mint. Sounds exotic."

He really did need to listen to his thoughts before he blurted them out. Not luckily for him, Changbin had created a perfect segway into something Woojin had been wanting to discuss. 

Changbin had well and truly forgotten about (or tried to erase from his mind) the dreams he had. Until Woojin brought it up and demanded that he explain what happened in detail. He had made the two of them close their eyes, because their gaze always made him nervous, while he himself had a pillow over his face. He also made them promise not to speak, or make any sound really, for thirty minutes afterwards. Hyunjin had timed it on his phone, counting down the seconds silently because he couldn't  _wait_  to laugh at his friend. Mostly because of how nervous he was when he spoke, but also because of how crude and detailed Changbin's dreams had been. 

It was safe to say Changbin had never been more embarrassed in his life.

They had both assured him that it was completely normal, and in some sly way, implied that the feeling was mutual. He hoped. Then he remembered that Hyunjin had said earlier, at his dorm. It made him let out a breath of relief, because it was no longer a huge, shameful secret. 

As the sun set that afternoon, the three boys wound down their excitement, ordered some overpriced room-service and had a movie night. They sat squished up on the three-seater, which, ironically, was too small for the three of them. Changbin could feel Hyunjin's body jolt everytime something had popped up on the screen. Somewhere along the way, he had snaked his fingers between Changbin's, shooting him a nervous smile. The youngest boy really didn't like horror films, but no one complained because Hyunjin then had the opportunity to pull the older boys close to him because he was scared. Woojin's hand rested along the backing of the sofa, fingers brushing along the nape of Changbin's neck. It was intimate, romantic even, something Changbin never thought he'd feel with anyone, much less his two best friends.  

Hyunjin had been cuddled up against Woojin when someone knocked at the door. 

"Must be room-service."

As Woojin got up to get the food, Hyunjin moved to stick to Changbin instead. The oldest had come back into the room to find Hyunjin curled up in a ball against Changbin's side, his lips pouted dramatically.

Time seemed to slow as he saw Changbins' eyes lock on the boys' lips, just centimetres away from his own. Hyunjin really was serving himself on a silver platter. The older of the two leaned in, pressing his lips ever-so-lightly onto the others'. At the contact, Hyunjin flinched, almost falling off the couch completely.

Changbin broke out into a cackle because he wasn't used to making the younger flustered, it was always the other way around.

"Way to ruin the mood, Binnie," Woojin laughed as he set the platter on the table. "Well, first kiss, you can cross that off your bucket list."

Both of them blinked at him innocently, making him chuckle. He pulled out his phone, taking a couple of pictures, which both of them whined at.

"What? This is an iconic day."

Hyunjins' eyes were wide and wild, as were Changbin's, and they probably would've just stared at each other for the rest of the night if Woojin wasn't there to  _accidentally_  push them together, causing Hyunjin to fall into Changbin's lap.

He didn't move of course, instead just making himself comfortable there and throwing his legs on top of Woojin. 

Upon instinct, Changbin began tracing the pink lips of the boy in front of him. He really,  _really_  wanted to kiss Hyunjin now, but with Woojin right there, feeling the outline of his lips would have to do. Of course, it wasn't the same,  _at all_ , because feeling the softness on his own lips made him melt inside. It made him feel soft and pure and loved and he's sure it made Hyunjin feel that way too.

Changbin was too wrapped up in his thought to notice that he was now full-on massing Hyunjin's lips with his thumb, causing a small whine to slip out of the younger's lips. They both froze at the noise, while Woojin just threw Hyunjin's legs off of himself, causing him to sit up.

"Oh my god, you cowards, just make out already!"

As if not to hurt him, Changbin leaned in so slowly it didn't even feel like he was moving. Now that he wasn't under a weird spell, which was probably induced by Hyunjin's lips, he was shaking. Hyunjin could feel it.

"You guys want some juice or something? You seem thirsty?" Woojin asked before falling into a fit of laughter. "Oh, I just got that!" Neither of them responded but he left anyway.

Hyunjin latched onto Changbin's shirt, bunching it in his hand and pulling him onto his own lips. He titled his head a bit, like he'd seen in all the movies, and caught the others' lips between his own. Changbin squeaked at the force, though his hands had a mind of their own, gripping on the younger boy's small waist and pulling himself into the kiss. It was deep and slow, mostly because neither of them knew what to do, but it was special in its own way.

When Woojin returned with three cups and a bottle of fancy juice a few minutes later, Hyunjin and Changbin were  _still_  going at it. He laughed through his nose, he remembered what his first kisses were like, how they could send your head spinning.

"I know you guys are having fun, which is great, good for you! But you might need to breathe." Woojin pointed out, sipping on the juice with a sigh.

Hyunjin was panting into Changbin's mouth, his long fingers tangled in his hair in an attempt to stop himself from floating away. He forced himself to pull away slowly, breathing as if he'd just ran a marathon.

Changbin smiled lazily, licking his lips and letting his head fall to the side, against the couch. He watched Woojin approach through hooded eyes, a playful smile on the older's lips.

"So does this mean I can kiss you guys now?"

Their heads both snapped up at that, and Woojin was almost shocked at the intensity in their eyes. 

He fit himself between the younger two, pulling Hyunjin onto his lap easily and letting his fingers graze over his hips. Hyunjin fiddled with the hair at the nape of the older boys' neck shyly.

Hyunjin had let his mouth fall open, and Woojin wasted no time in deepening the kiss by tilting his head. Kissing Woojin was different because he was so much more experienced. Both of them were breathless, and yet, Woojin continued to give and take even more. Hyunjin really shouldn't have been surprised when he felt a different kind of softness on his lips. He melted a bit when he realized it was Woojin's tongue, letting him roam for just a few seconds before pulling away with flushed cheeks.

Woojin chuckled coyly, "Oh so you're shy now, hmm?" He buried his head in the crook of his neck, pressing firm, open-mouthed kisses on the delicate skin. Hyunjin slumped in his arms, his head falling to rest on Woojin's shoulder. Woojin hummed in accomplishment as more skin was exposed, nipping and sucking a few times until a bright red mark appeared. He picked Hyunjin up, placing him on the couch beside him as he caught his breath, quickly pressing a soft kiss on his lips. 

Changbin didn't register the warm hand on his thigh because his body whole was pretty much searing at the sight of the two boys he loved more than anything  _making out_ right next to him.

"Feeling a bit left out, baby?" Woojin turned to him with that smile he'd only seen in his dreams.

He couldn't decide whether to nod or shake his head, because he  _really_  liked seeing the two kiss but he also  _really_  wanted to kiss them.

Suddenly, he was caged in on the corner of the couch, with Woojin staring down at him. He dipped his head and Changbin hoped that maybe he was finally getting his kiss. Instead, there was feathery brushing at his collarbone, followed by soft kisses up to his jawline. Woojin nudged Changbin's jaw with his nose lightly, and Changbin found it incredibly endearing for some reason. A pair of warm brown eyes appear in front of him, and he sighed shakily. This was happening. 

Woojin kissed him more gently than he did with Hyunjin, because he felt the need to slow down for Changbin, whose heart was pounding out of his chest. Even though he almost couldn't breathe, it was the best feeling ever. Changbin fisted at his shirt, pulling the boy closer hungrily. And wow, he was suddenly  _starving_.

Woojin suckled on his bottom lip, drawing small moans from the other, before slipping his tongue past his lips. He smiled when he was pulled closer by his waist, swallowing all of the smaller boys' whines and groans.

It didn't take Changbin long to figure out that Woojin was, in fact, somewhat mimicking the dream they'd made him explain in  _excruciating_  detail. So Changbin did the same. He was remembering things from his dreams and using it to his advantage to make up for his lack of experience. 

Woojin's arms began shaking, not just at how long he'd been holding himself up, but because the feeling of Changbin against his lips was making him feel lightheaded. Changbin's small fingers threaded through Woojin's hair, alternating between twirling it around his finger and tracing his scalp. At a rather harsh tug of his hair, Woojin grunted hotly into Changbin's mouth, making the younger melt even more, if possible. He pulled away slowly, instead leaning down to tug at the skin of Changbin's earlobe with his teeth. Changbin closed his eyes at the feeling, panting through a wide smile.

Hyunjin watched on in wonder as he thought to himself, yeah he's  _definitely not straight_. 

They didn't talk for a while, all with their chests heaving and hearts beating in sync. 

It was weird to Changbin, crossing this line. Things were soft and slow with Hyunjin because Hyunjin was his best friend and they've always been there to protect each other. But with Woojin, it was intense and a huge change in their relationship.

For Woojin and Hyunjin, crossing the line with each other wasn't that big of a deal because they haven't known each other for long. 

But for them to cross that line with Changbin was something else. They'd both known him for a long time, as a friend, almost as a brother, so it was strange and made them wonder  _when did I start thinking of him like this?_

Woojin chuckled as he saw the two younger boys' biting on their swollen bottom lips. "Nice, isn't it? To be loved?"

They nodded as they stared at the ceiling with heaving chests and dilated pupils. Damn, they were  _so_  in love. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then,,
> 
> lemme know what you thought!


	6. Didn't See It Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a couple of surprises.

When Changbin woke up, he was sure it was a dream. Just another one of his incredibly detailed dreams that bordered on being a twisted nightmare, mocking any hope he had. Of course it was a dream. Woojin and Hyunjin didn't really kiss him. No way. Why would they do that?

The bed was empty, meaning Hyunjin had already woken up, and as he passed Woojin's empty room, he assumed the eldest had too. Changbin shook himself out of it, focused on brushing his teeth instead. It wasn't until he felt toothpaste drip down his chin that he realised he had zoned out again.  _Dammit_ , he thought, washing his face.

The sound of talking filled his ears, it was light and muffled, and Changbin felt his heart pick up its' pace. They were right out there. He would have to go out and face them. It was fine. Changbin was fine. Absolutely fine. He just had to walk out there and act normal and-

"Hyung!"

Changbin jumped, dropping his t-shirt. He bent down, fumbling to pick it up when it was picked up for him. Hyunjin's eyes ran over the boy in front of him before he handed over the shirt. He slipped it over his head, opening his mouth to thank the younger boy.

"I liked it better before," Hyunjin smiled slyly, taking Changbin's wrist and pulling the spluttering boy along to the couch.

Woojin was sitting there, and Changbin couldn't even see the front of the boy, but his breath caught in his throat. Hyunjin, quite unnecessarily, jumped over the back of the couch onto the space next to Woojin. He scooted over a bit, patting the seat between them. Still dazed, Changbin waddled over to the couch, stumbling when Hyunjin tugged him down by his wrist. He huffed lightly, settling into the seats with a gulp.

"So, we should talk." Woojin's voice made him jump a bit.

Changbin wasn't sure what a panic attack was like, but this may have been it. It was hard to explain because so much was going on. His head was ringing, his breathes were shallow, his mouth was somehow dry while being filled with saliva. He could barely hear what Woojin was saying.

"So this..." Woojin started off rather shakily. Changbin braced himself. Hyunjin also braced him by wrapping his hand around Changbin's bicep, leaning his head on the older boys' shoulder. "is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

While Changbin's head was still ringing, he was able to hear Hyunjin's light giggle as the boy leaned over to kiss Woojin. He sat back in his spot, planting a kiss on Changbin, square on his lips.

"Huh?" Changbin said dumbly because his brain was struggling to process anything. Hyunjin kissed him. Woojin said something that made Hyunjin kiss him. They were both now staring at him. He panicked a bit, another confused sound leaving his mouth.

A worried look was shared between the other two, eyes returning to the small boy who was staring at his hands.

Finally, Changbin swallowed the lump, clearing his throat with a small cough. "S-so, uh, what does that mean? I mean- uh, fuck- like what-"

He couldn't think straight, not when Hyunjin's hair was tickling his ear and when Woojin was watching him with those warm eyes. It was too overwhelming, and the seconds that went by without an answer felt like hours.

"Well, I guess I uh-" Woojin coughed a bit, trying to ignore the heat spread across his cheeks. "I want to be your boyfriend. If you want me to. If you'll let me."

Now Changbin was even more overwhelmed, because Woojin, the ever-confident extrovert, was stuttering. He was  _nervous_.

Changbin blinked. "You- you want to- you want..."

"Hyung, breathe," Hyunjin's hand caressed the nape of his neck, and as much as he liked it, it really wasn't helping him at all.

"I can't breathe! What do you mean? What does he mean?" Changbin's breaths turned erratic now, and he clutched onto Hyunjin's thigh, making him squeal in pain. "Sorry, I-"

Shit. Holy fuck. What was going on? He wasn't entirely sure, but Woojin wanted to be someone's boyfriend.

"Binnie, are you okay?" Woojin's large hand settled on his cheek, a small shiver running through him due to the warmth. The eldest stroked his cheek gently, watching through soft, smiling eyes.

Gathering all of his courage, Changbin looked up to Woojin, hoping he could read his mind. Woojin sighed softly, the smile never leaving his face. He could see confusion, fear, hope in Changbin's eyes. He reached across to take Hyunjin's hand in his right hand, the younger shuffling a bit closer. His left hand moved from Changbin's cheek to rest on top of Changbin's hands, tightly clasped together on his lap.

"If you'll let me," Woojin repeated, "I want to make you smile. I want to see you happy,  _please_. You both mean so much to me. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone."

Changbin's heart fluttered at the confession, not just because he wanted to see them happy, but because he said he liked them more than anyone before. Woojin had gone through his fair share of relationships, and Changbin had been around to hear about all of them, the good and the bad.

Hyunjin squeezed both of their hands. "I like you too. Both. A lot. If you couldn't already tell."

Woojin sighed out in relief. He could've guessed so from the night before and the previous time they had spent together, but he had to be sure. He focussed on Changbin, who, again, was spaced out. The silence made Woojin second-guess himself, maybe he had over-analyzed things. Hyunjin liked him, but Changbin... Sure, it was Changbin who had confessed first, but maybe he had changed his mind. No, there  _had_  to be feelings, otherwise, last night wouldn't have happened.

"Changbin-"

"Woojin hyung, shit, I- Are you serious? Holy fuck." Changbin mumbled out, wondering where his confidence came from because he was never usually able to make eye contact with Woojin for that long. When Woojin tilted his head a bit, he could see it. Sincerity was written all over the eldest's face. He let out a dry laugh, letting go of both boys to run his hands over his face. "Holy shit." He whispered. "Oh my god."

"Baby," Woojin started, eyes widening slightly as Changbin's head snapped up to look at him.

"Say it again." He interrupted, causing Woojin to furrow his brows a bit. He couldn't help what he was saying, he was overwhelmed, maybe a bit loopy from lack of sleep. Either way, he knew his brain-to-mouth filter would not be working. "Say it again, please."

"Baby..." Woojin said softly, glancing at Hyunjin in confusion. Hyunjin just shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips.

A flush of happiness ran through him at the simple pet name. Woojin has used it many times before, but now it meant something. Or at least, Changbin now knew what it meant.

Changbin turned to the youngest, unable to hold back a smile at the sight of him. He laughed suddenly, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips.

"Hyung, yes! What the fuck? I've been in love with both of you for almost a year, in case you've forgotten." A blush rose to Changbin's cheeks as he realised what he said, even more so when the other two let out laughs. He grinned as Woojin's fingers ran over the shell of his ear gently, his lips pressing against Changbin's temple. "Holy shit, I have boyfriends," he whispered to himself, earning laughs from Woojin and Hyunjin.

 

 

"Are you sure we have to go there?" Changbin tried again, looking over Woojin's shoulder as he searched up train departure times to Yongin.

It was Woojin's idea to have a stopover in Yongin for a couple of days on their way back to Daejeon, that way both Hyunjin and Changbin could meet their families.

"We can't, like, just stay at Hyunjin's or book a hotel?"

Woojin sighed lightly. "Bin, your parents offered. I can't say no to them."

"I can," he mumbled, playing with Woojin's collar.

The older boy shuffled around on the chair, placing his hands on Changbin's hips. "Why don't you want to go there, babe?" He asked softly, tilting his head with concerned eyes.

 _Fuck_ , he forgot that he'd never told Woojin about his parents. It's not that he hated them, not at all, but they were only good in small doses. Preferably up to an hour, so really, staying with them for a couple of days was going to be a challenge.

He couldn't answer but thankfully Hyunjin bounced into the room at that time, a bright grin on his face, and they both forgot what they were talking about. He made himself comfortable on Woojin's lap, eyes wide with excitement. "I can't  _wait_  to go back!"

Woojin glanced at Changbin, who deflated with a soft smile. Ah, the things he would do for Hyunjin.

"When's the earliest one?" Changbin asked, kissing the tip of Hyunjin's ear lightly.

They caught the first train the next day, all falling asleep as soon as they boarded. Hyunjin was in the middle, head in Woojin's lap and feet in Changbin's. It felt like only a minute later they were taking a taxi to Hyunjin's house. They spent the day at Hyunjin's place, the youngest showing them his old trophies and school photos.

Woojin squinted, "you guys were so cute in your uniforms!"

He giggled, "please, I wish you'd have seen him in person."

"Huh?" Changbin lifted his head. "What— Shit," he fumbled with his phone to answer. "Yes mother, we're dropping Hyunjin at his place. Ok. Hyung, we better go."

"Good luck," Hyunjin smiled, bending down to press a kiss to Changbin's lips, then his cheek.

"I'll never get used to that," Changbin mumbled, watching as Woojin wrapped an arm around Hyunjin's waist and pressed a kiss to his forehead. His heart was going crazy at the sight, and he almost forgot he had to leave.

"Bin, come on," Woojin laughed lightly, stealing a quick kiss from the youngest. "We'll see you soon, baby."

Dragging his feet slightly, Changbin followed Woojin out after hugging Hyunjin one last time.

"You don't want to stay here, boys?" Hyunjin's mom asked as they put their bags into the taxi.

"We'd love to, Mrs Hwang, but my parents are expecting us back," Changbin said politely.

"Ah, well, next time." She smiled. "Thank you for taking care of my Hyunjinnie." She ruffled her sons' hair.

"You're welcome, Mrs Hwang. Anytime." Woojin bowed, waving as he sat in the car, soon followed by Changbin.

 

 

"What's that?"

That was the first thing his mother said to him after a simple  _hello_.

Changbin didn't have to look to know what she was talking about. From the corner of his eye, he saw Woojin tense up. The mark on his collarbone was barely visible, but to his mother, it may as well have been a flaming red patch with flashing lights and a billboard.

"Must be from the fabric softener. You know how sensitive my skin is."

She hummed monotonously. It was either disbelief or disinterest, and honestly, Changbin couldn't care less which.

"Woojin, if you don't mind sharing Chan's old room with Changbin, it'll save me from setting up another bed for you."

"That's totally fine, thank you."

She smiled, disappearing into the kitchen, and the two of them set off towards the bedroom.

Changbin huffed slightly upon seeing the double bed.

"We've shared before. No big deal." Woojin laughed lightly, placing their bags on the empty study desk.

"Yeah, on a king." Changbin sighed on Woojin's behalf because though he was small, he tended to take up the whole bed. After all, he had gotten used to having a queen-sized bed all to himself for a couple of years. He also wanted to add that they had shared as friends or brothers or  _whatever_  they were before, but that was a whole other  _thing_  he didn't want to talk about.

"More Changbin for me." Woojin pressed his chest against Changbin's back, kissing his neck softly.

Changbin whined, a small shiver running through him. "Stop, they could walk in at any minute! They do that, you know." He glanced towards the closed door. It had no lock, which irked Changbin. That was another thing he had gotten used to - locking doors. He wasn't sure why, really.

The older boy smiled, pulling Changbin by his hips and pressing him against the door, earning a small huff. "There," Woojin smiled, leaning down to kiss his jaw.

Changbin sighed, fingers threading through Woojin's hair. "I don't have many more excuses for these."

Woojin smiled against his skin, obviously not caring about excuses. He nipped behind his ear, a gasp falling from the younger boys' mouth. "Makeup."

He nodded in agreement, though Woojin wouldn't be able to see him. "I wish we were with Hyunjin," Changbin blurted, cringing a bit when he felt Woojin's movements still. "Sorry."

He laughed, pecking Changbin's lips and returning to his normal height. "It's okay. I do too, baby."

 _Baby. Baby. Shit_. Changbin felt his heart flip at the boy in front of him and the one they were talking about. He would seriously never get used to it.

Hyunjin and Changbin were planning to show the eldest around to their favourite restaurants and parks, starting that night, but Changbin's mom had already prepared dinner and Woojin couldn't say no.

"Weak," Changbin hissed loud enough for only Woojin to hear.

"Tomorrow, babe." He riskily slapped Changbin's butt lightly while his mother was distracted.

Changbin gasped silently, narrowing his eyes at the older boy. "Hyunjin would never."

"He so would."

 _Damnit_ , Woojin was probably right.

They wound up on the couch, watching a random movie because that was really all they could do. Changbin was perfectly content watching the movie for maybe the tenth time with a tired Woojin's head in his lap, which thankfully, neither of his parents questioned. But of course, his parents had to know every detail of his life. Maybe it was their way of showing they cared, but Changbin was exhausted.

It was the usual _it's good, dad_  and  _yes, mom_  he had said thousands of times before. He wondered if they were doubtful of him or just really forgetful. Both, probably.

"You don't have a girlfriend, do you?"

"Dad, no!" Changbin sighed in exasperation. He suppressed the urge to say  _hey mom, dad, I'm very gay and I have boyfriends!_

"Okay, okay. No need to yell." His father laughed, shaking his head at his son.  _Hot-headed_  his dad would call him at times because Changbin's tolerance of, well, everything seemed to shrink every day.

They hadn't talked about it, not really, but hiding the fact that Changbin was dating was one thing. Hiding the fact that he was dating his two best friends that he had grown up with, who were boys, and who were more than one person, was going to take a bit more willpower.

 _It's fine_ , he convinced himself, because the whole  _situation_  had only really kicked off the day before, so things were still in the beginning stages. There was no need to go out and declare their love to the world.

Changbin realised he was now thinking too much when really, he should be talking to Woojin and Hyunjin about it. The shift of weight on his lap cleared his cloud of thoughts. He saw Woojin watching from the corner of his eye. Unable to meet his eye, Changbin focused back on the movie, relieved when Woojin followed suit. He really needed to explain himself.

 

 

"Changbin, Woojin! What do you want for lunch?" His mother called out, even though he was about five meters away.

"Mom," Changbin sighed, "I told you we had plans with Hyunjin."

"Oh, good." She sighed, waving goodbye as they left.

Shit, he still hadn't explained. Well, he couldn't do it now, it would ruin the mood. And he wanted to talk when all three of them were together. Maybe he should just wait until they got back to Woojin's place.

Changbin cleared his throat. "The cafe is a couple of streets down, it's just a few minutes walk."

Woojin raised an eyebrow as Changbin locked the front door, noting that the boy was avoiding eye contact. He nodded because, clearly, Changbin didn't want to talk about it. He could ask him later. 

They got there ten minutes early, but as expected, Hyunjin was already there. He waved them over to the counter, a wide grin on his face.

"Look!" Hyunjin pointed at the glass excitedly, making the older two chuckle. His eyes flew comically between the cakes, slices and tarts before he finally decided on a couple of doughnuts.

Woojin patted their backs softly. "Why don't you two grab a seat? I'll order."

Hyunjin nodded, taking Changbin's hand and pulling him towards the nearest empty table. They didn't get very far, though, as they stopped in their tracks, both staring at the familiar boy in front of them.

Changbin stepped a bit closer, examining the back of the person's head. Light brown, bordering on blond, hair. "Mark?"

The boys' head snapped up, turning around with eyes wider than they usually were, which was rather funny, considering the boy was always wide-eyed.

He almost jumped upon seeing the two stand side-by-side. "Changbin! Hyunjin! Hi."

Neither replied, though, because they noticed someone else. He was taller than Mark, though he seemed to be hiding behind the boy. His pitch black hair and broad shoulders were not exactly helping.

"No way.." Hyunjin peeked around, getting a better look at the boy. "Jeno?"

He stepped out from behind Mark and cleared his throat, raising his hand in an awkward wave. "Hi guys."

"Lee Jeno? Jeno Lee?!" Changbin laughed a bit, turning to Hyunjin. "It's Jeno!"

Mark and Jeno's eyes both flicked up, and the two other boys' felt a warm presence behind them.

"What's going on? All you've said is  _Jeno_  for, like, a whole minute." Woojin glanced between, both confused and slightly concerned as the four boys stared at each other.

"Oh! Mark hyung, this is our Woojinnie hyung."

A grin spread over Woojin's face as he was basically claimed by Hyunjin.

"Ah." Mark nodded like he knew something. Which he did, Changbin realised, because Mark was the one who had told him to make up with his friends. Changbin should really thank him for that. "Nice to meet you Woojin.. hyung."

Woojin smiled warmly. "Nice to meet you, boys."

They moved to a booth, so as to not take up the space of the small cafe. Mark and Jeno sat on one side, almost glued together at the hip, while the other three sat across from them. They tried not to laugh at Changbin, who was squashed between the two larger boys.

"So, Xuxi.." Changbin trailed off, unsure if he should be talking about it or not.

"Jaemin." Mark grinned.

"You're kidding," Hyunjin gasped in fascination. They did make a good couple, he supposed.

The four of them laughed while poor Woojin was still as confused as ever.

"So Mark was friends with Xuxi, both my age, and Jeno was friends with Jaemin, both Hyunjin's age. Everyone thought these pairs were dating since they were always together, ever since, like, primary school. I guess they really were just friends." Changbin explained.

"Lucky for me," Jeno scoffed lightly, "Have you seen Na's lips? I hope Xuxi hyung wears lip balm. That's the only way he'll ever get Nana to wear it."

"Overshare," Mark whispered, patting the boy's leg.

"Jeno Lee," Changbin nodded, still coming to terms with it.

"Shut up about it already," Jeno's face turned red, and no matter how much he tried, he couldn't fight the grin on his face.

Mark's eyes flitted to the boys in front of him; Hyunjin sat close, leaning into Changbin. Woojin's arm disappeared under the table but it was obvious his hand had been on Changbin's leg the whole time. "So how's- how are you?" He couldn't say outright  _I guessed you fixed things_ , but Changbin seemed to understand.

"Yeah, it's fine." Hyunjin grabbed his hand softly. "It's good. Great. Really."

He had never had a way with words but Mark nodded anyway. Apparently, those words were enough for Changbin to get his point across.

Mark and Jeno soon had to leave because they had plans with Mark's family. Changbin offered them a sympathetic smile and a look that said  _good luck_. He knew that Mark's family could be overbearing because Mark would often confide in him too. At least they accepted Mark's relationship with Jeno. Well, he hoped that was the case.

"See you later, man," Mark patted his shoulder before taking Jeno's hand. It was slightly awkward, a bit of fumbling, so Changbin guessed it was still new to them. It was rather cute and he knew what it felt like, that nervousness to be affectionate in public or in front of people that you cared about. 

The three remaining boys finished off their drinks, before walking out to the street.

"They were nice. I guess you were close with Mark?" Woojin smiled, nudging Changbin lightly with his shoulder.

At the end of the street, he saw a couple holding hands and had the urge to do the same. He didn't though, because he was nervous and his hands were sweaty and people would probably look at them strangely. Changbin nodded. "Yeah, Mark's great. He really helped me sort things out."

Hyunjin laughed lightly, ruffling the back of Changbin's hair. "Things? That's vague."

"Well, he reminded me that my friends might need me at times, even when I want to push them away." 

"He did, huh? I guess we should thank him." Woojin's voice was warm as always. 

Changbin smiled up at him. He had a lot of people to thank, he realised. Jisung and Felix for just letting him rant when he needed it, and at other times, taking his mind off of the problem. Seungmin and Jeongin for helping him figure out his feelings and assuring him that  _yes, you can like two people at the same time, it's okay._ Mark for telling him to  _get it together and just call Hyunjin._ Even Chan and Minho, for making the house so... unliveable that he would hang out with Woojin instead. And lastly, Woojin and Hyunjin for always being there for him. He wasn't sure that he would be able to thanks these people, because he was too much of a coward, but either way, he could try his best and start with the small things. 

He pulled out two pieces of gum, holding one out in each hand for his best friends, his  _boyfriends_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was highkey a mess, sorry
> 
> there's probably going to be a couple more chapters after this
> 
> thanks for reading!!


	7. Crave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changbin is chasing something.

Tip-toeing around his parents with Woojin was as tiring as tip-toeing around Woojin with his parents, and it was all just about as tiring as tip-toeing around Chan and Minho. God, he really couldn't catch a break, could he? Well, he could lighten the situation by talking to Woojin about what made spending time with his parents so uncomfortable, but he really didn't want to see the frown on the older boy's face when he did. 

At least he could rest easy knowing Hyunjin was happy about being home. 

He shifted on the bed, freezing when he felt movement beside him.  _Idiot_ , he thought to himself because it was just Woojin trying to move back into Changbin's body warmth. He smiled tiredly, letting the older boys' arm hang over his waist. 

It felt like just a minute he had slept for until the darkness of his eyelids turned bright red under the sunlight. 

"Changbin," a low voice whispered, tickling his ear softly. He moaned tiredly, squirming away. The bed shook slightly as Hyunjin, he assumed, jumped onto the bed. 

"It's today! It's today! Let's go."

Changbin sat up abruptly. He did it. He had gotten through the past however many days with his parents. 

"Look, hyung, your mum packed food for us to eat when we get home!" Hyunjin swung the cooler bag in his hand, a smile on his face as he snaked his hand inside to pick up something. He pulled out a chocolate-coated almond or something of the sort. The gentle smell of chocolate drifted over to Woojin as it moved right in front of his face, before Hyunjin popped in his mouth with a cheeky grin. Woojin laughed, pulling Hyunjin down by his waist and nuzzling his head in the crook of his neck. 

Changbin felt a smile stretch over his face at the youngest's soft giggles. He jumped into action, packing up and getting ready to catch the train as soon as they could. It wasn't much help that Woojin and Hyunjin had been cuddling on the bed the entire time. He felt guilty as he rushed them, but god, he just really wanted to get home and relax. 

Time was a blur. He couldn't even remember the time passing as his mother dropped them off at the train station, didn't quite remember hugging her goodbye or the details of the small talk they made while they waited for the train. Excitement, maybe nervousness too, churned in his gut.  

Changbin was in a haze. A post-relationship-agreement haze, he called it. Maybe he should change it because it sounded like something to do with business, or human rights even. He wondered how long it would last, because the tightness in his stomach when he saw the other two showed no sign of letting up any time soon. It felt like he was constantly floating and as if nothing was real. Like the day he had woken up after that night, the morning Woojin asked to be their boyfriends, it felt like a dream. 

When they finally got to Yongin, it finally set it in, slowly but surely. It wasn't that it hadn't before, it was just that being back at the place Changbin called his home, it was no longer playing around or carefree or a little vacation. It was serious. He was in a relationship.  _They_  were in a relationship. 

Later that night, they went to a new bakery that had opened not far from Woojin's place. Despite what Changbin had expected, the excitement in his stomach had not settled down, so maybe it wasn't all excitement. He only hoped that he hadn't mistaken it for that feeling in his gut when he could sense bad things ahead. 

"Custard tart for Hyunjin, and for you, baby?" 

Changbin breath caught in his throat. He was barely used to hearing the pet name at all in this new light, let alone in public, in front of the girl at the register. Suddenly, he became aware of how Woojin's fingers were tracing on his lower back through the material of his shirt and hoodie. His eyes flickered to the girl nervously, and she smiled in return. 

"Uh, doughnuts?" He blurted. 

Woojin hummed. "Alright, one cinnamon, one powdered and one glazed. Sound good?" 

Changbin nodded, swallowing nervously as he followed Woojin back to where Hyunjin was sitting.  _Why am I like this?_  He asked himself, because she clearly didn't care that Woojin had called him baby, but it had still made him incredibly nervous. He always knew he would never be one for PDA, but it was just a nickname and it was just one person. 

"Changbin, if you don't want me to call you baby, just tell me." As always, there was no judgement or disappointment in Woojin's tone.

"No!" He shouted, sinking into his seat in embarrassment as Hyunjin pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing. They all knew that he liked being called that. "That's not it."

Hyunjin snaked his arm around the older boys' waist, squeezing his hip gently before pulling away. "I get it. He doesn't like PDA."

Why could Hyunjin read him so easily? It wasn't just that. He liked displays of affection. Admittedly, he would rather not do PDA, but even in the comfort of his own (Woojin's) home, Changbin couldn't bring himself to initiate any kind of affection.

"Ah, I see," Woojin smiled softly, "No PDA then, bab- uh, Changbinnie?"

Changbin nodded, unable to look up. "Just for us." 

"Deal," Hyunjin said, moving to shovel a spoonful of his tart into his mouth. "So, desserts for dinner? I guess I could visit this place more often." 

"Yeah, you're only here for the desert." Woojin rolled his eyes, stealing the spoon from Hyunjin, who whined in response. 

 

 

He didn't know what it was, because no matter how much Changbin liked to bask in their affection, he found it hard to do the same for them, and he felt guiltier by the day. It wasn't just in public, he knew that now, because he couldn't even bring himself to brush their hair back when it was in their eyes, or just hold their hand. It was frustrating, because he really wanted to brush their hair back and hold their hand or kiss them without the other having to initiate it. And he hated it even more because Hyunjin was always pouting about it, because it only made him want to kiss Hyunjin more. Woojin didn't seem to mind much, because he always took charge of those couple things and Changbin didn't really need to do much more. 

Changbin tried to do something, anything, but he always felt like he forced it, or his hands were too sweaty, or it wasn't the right time.

The Tuesday he woke up by himself in Woojin's bed, hearing the dull noise of the tv, he decided it was enough. He brushed his teeth before following the noise to where Woojin was comfortably sat on the couch. There was some clatter in the laundry, so he guessed that was where Hyunjin was.

He promptly situated himself on Woojin's lap, his back against the older boys' chest. Changbin exhaled heavily through his nose, feeling his muscles relax at the constant warmth that Woojin's body held.

Woojin's breath caught in his throat, surprised that the boy had willingly come to him, eyes slightly wide as Changbin took Woojin's arms to wrap around himself. "What's wrong?"

Changbin could hear the shock in Woojin's voice and he frowned. "Nothing." He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back to rest on Woojin's shoulder. "I just like you."

Woojin's chest rumbled as he chuckled, making Changbin's face redden in embarrassment. He pressed his lips against Woojin's jaw, a small sound of surprise leaving his mouth when Woojin turned his head and their lips met. 

"I like you too," Woojin mumbled, softly kissing Changbin again. The older boy's stomach rumbled again and Changbin realised he wasn't laughing this time. "But right now, I'm really liking the idea of breakfast." He gently rolled Changbin off of himself, disappearing into the kitchen. 

Changbin laid on his side, eyes closed as a dramatic sigh left his lips.  _Alone again_ , he laughed internally, though there was a little bitter feeling creeping up. He tried to keep the smile on his face, keep that light, fluttering feeling in his heart, but it left when Woojin did. He was being unreasonable, he knew he was, but he couldn't help it. His mind drifted back to that day one week before he and Woojin left on the train to see Hyunjin in Seoul. It was all too clear in his mind, every detail. 

 _Shit_ , Changbin thought to himself as the car took off down the street, an intoxicated Chan behind the wheel.  _This is how I die. Maybe it's for the best._  He ignored that part of his mind. He still had to send Hyunjin that cute picture of Areum, and he was supposed to be meeting up with Woojin on the weekend.  _No, things will be fine._

"Tell me when you see his car."

Changbin didn't respond, watching as the older boy fumbled around for a cigarette before placing it between his lips.

"Can you find my lighter please?"

God, Changbin really wanted to punch his face. Why was he speaking so calmly, so nicely, in the situation that they were in?

He gripped onto the seat as the car swerved into a parking lot. Chan got out of the car, which he had stopped in the middle of the parking lot, not even bothering to properly park. Changbin didn't have the time to ask where he was going because the older boy had already jumped into Minho's car. It was all happening way too fast. All he could do was sit and watch as Minho's car sped off out of the parking lot, onto the thankfully empty streets.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, what if they die?_

He hadn't seen Minho himself, but he had to have been as drunk as Chan.

Changbin had at least one drink in him, there was no way he could drive home. He glanced around. Of course, they had stopped near a busy bar. That wasn't good news. Not for someone as small as him at this time of night. The sudden explosion of talking and laughter from the bar made him jump in his seat. He felt like vomiting or crying, an unsettling feeling taking over his body.

How did Chan even get into this mess? Why did he have to drag Changbin in with him? 

He couldn't call his parents, he absolutely couldn't. He really probably should have, but he couldn't. 

His finger hovered over the next contact. It had no picture but he could just imagine the smile, eyes crinkled and teeth on display as his mouth pulled into a wide grin. He pressed. It rang and rang and then it rang out. Changbin almost worried because Woojin always answered, and then he remembered that it was almost three in the morning. Shit, he was probably sleeping.

Instead, he looked up the numbers for taxi services as quickly as he could with his shaking hands. He just wanted to get home.

Before he could call the number, his phone rang.

_Woojinnie is calling_

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Hyung."

"I'm sorry I didn't answer, Binnie. I just got a call that I have to meet a client first thing in the morning. I'm packing and catching a train as soon as I can."

"Oh," Changbin's heart dropped. It was payback from the universe, he assumed, because he had missed so many of Woojin's calls in the past.  _Don't be selfish, it's his job_. It wasn't as if Woojin was created to listen to his problems at all times. "No no, that's okay."

"What... happened?

Changbin blurted the entire story, as clearly as he could remember. "-and I was just about to call a taxi when you called."

"Baby," Woojin said softly, and it took everything Changbin had to not fall into a pile of tears again. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened, and I'm sorry I can't be there to pick you up."

"Please don't be sorry." He whimpered, eyes watering up. The last thing he wanted was for his friends to be dragged into this mess, and he knew he had done a terrible job of preventing that in the past.

Woojin was silent for a second. "I can't believe him. Leaving you alone, at this time, where you are. Fucking unbelievable. Listen, call a taxi as soon as you can and tell me when you get home, okay? Fuck, I have to leave soon. Changbin, I love you. Text me."

Changbin's heart clenched. He wanted to keep talking to Woojin, his voice was warm and familiar and comforting and it made him feel safe. "I will. Love you too."

The taxi ride was uncomfortable as it was, without throwing a call from Chan into the mix. The poor driver had to hear Changbin's disassociated  _mhm's_  for minutes on end while Chan drunkenly apologised.

"I called Woojin hyung, told him. I'm in a taxi."

Truthfully, he didn't care what excuse Chan had. He had left him behind, just like that, and Changbin would never forget. Maybe he would never be able to trust him again.

It felt like the longest ride ever, even longer than with drunk Chan at the wheel, because he had to go home and actually face Chan now.

"Thank you," Changbin handed the driver some money, telling him to keep the change.

The driver smiled tightly. Of course, he had picked up on Changbin's hostile behaviour while he was on the phone to Chan. "Take care, love."

Maybe he should have expected it but the first thing Chan said to him was not  _I'm sorry_  or a _re you ok?_  It was  _can you talk to him?_ Chan started explaining what had happened and to be honest, Changbin really did not fucking care. For the first time, he didn't listen to Chan.

"I'm tired," Changbin said, and with that, he stepped into the house with a sigh. 

He collapsed on his bed as soon as he got into his room but found himself unable to sleep after he let Woojin know he had gotten back safely. All he could do was worry and wish that things were different. Wishing, he knew would get him nowhere, but there was nothing else that he could do. He ignored the soft knock at his door, guilt stirring at his stomach.

To think it was supposed to be a quiet night in for him. Some takeaway and beer, a couple of movies, no Chan and Minho, just time to relax. It was too good to be true, he should've known. All he knew was that he would've given anything to have Woojin or Hyunjin hold him, kiss his forehead and stroke his hair while he fell asleep.

"You've been staring at the wall for a long time." 

Changbin blinked as Hyunjin's face appeared in front of his. He didn't know how long he had been laying there for, thinking about that time. 

"Hyunjin," he sat up, wrapped his arms and legs around the boy in a too-tight hug. 

"Hey," Hyunjin laughed lightly, rubbing his back, "what's this?" 

"I missed you," Changbin mumbled into his neck as the younger boy kissed his forehead. 

"Well, I've been here the whole time." 

Changbin just hummed in response, breathing deeply. Hyunjin was warm and he smelt like laundry powder, and as far as Changbin was concerned, he could stay there hugging him forever. Hyunjin tried to pull away, only to be pulled back into an even tighter hug. 

He laughed, grabbing Changbin's face between his hands, pressing their noses together softly. "You're so cute." 

The older boy felt his body warm at the smile on Hyunjin's face, and he was about to say that Hyunjin was even cuter (because he was) when he pulled back a bit. 

"Hey, didn't you say you needed to get something from your place?" 

He faltered for a second. "Uh, no." 

"I'm pretty sure you said something about not having packed enough-"

Changbin cut him off with a kiss, smiling sheepishly when Hyunjin raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Don't think you can distract me like this." He said in a low voice before pressing his lips back onto's Changbin. The older smiled as Hyunjin pulled him in by his waist, though it was rather short-lived. 

"Actually, you did say something about that!" Woojin hollered from the kitchen, unable to see Changbin's face pulled into a scowl. 

"Tomorrow then." Hyunjin kissed his cheek, eyes lighting up. "I can meet Areum again!" 

When Hyunjin's eyes and smile were that bright, he found it hard to refuse. "Yeah, okay."

Changbin knew why he was excited to come back; so that he could do those annoying cute couple things without having to be worried about his parents finding out. He wanted to go on dates and cuddle all day long and just  _be_  with them. It made him happy. That was what he had been so excited about. He could just be free; his freedom was extremely important to him. It was something that had fuelled him for many, freedom from his parents and freedom from Chan. So, yes, he was excited to be back at Woojin's place. 

In fact, he was so excited to get back home that he had forgotten what would be waiting there for him. Two insufferable idiots and one beautiful dog, that is. 

Wow, he just couldn't  _wait_  to get home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a hot minute since I posted,, sorry
> 
> I hope the flashback was not written confusingly
> 
> also if anyone wanted to know, the chapter titles are based on songs I like and thought were fitting
> 
> hope you have a good day!


	8. Gonna Get Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are ups and downs.

Changbin swallowed nervously as he parked in the driveway of his house. Though it had been just over a week, the place seemed so unfamiliar to him.

Minho's car, he noticed, was not there. The lights in the house were not on either, meaning they were not home. Both relief and panic washed over him. Not home means out, probably at a party, which means getting drunk, which means fighting, which means they would be home soon.

"Do you just wanna stay in the car?"

He just needed to grab a few things and say hi to Areum, they didn't have to be there for long.

"It's scary out here," Hyunjin pouted, glancing out of the window wearily.

Changbin felt rather guilty because each of his best friends knew a different side of his troubles. Woojin knew of Chan and Minho and their troubles, while Hyunjin was familiar with what went on with Changbin and his parents. It wasn't that they didn't know anything; they knew little bits. Changbin just didn't exactly rant to them about it.

He hummed, turning off the engine. "Come on then. I'm sure Areum will love to see you."

The younger grinned, scrambling to get out of the car and run to the front door. There was some noise inside, whom he guessed was Areum sensing they were there.

Changbin opened to door, careful not to let the very excited dog out, and headed for his room while Hyunjin's laugh echoed through the hallway. He rushed around his room, shoving clothes into his backpack. He wasn't sure how much to pack since he wasn't sure how long he would be at Woojin's place. It wasn't as if he could wear Woojin or Hyunjin's clothes since they were much too big for him.

Working his way through his closet, Changbin let his mind wander for a bit. Here he was, packing clothes so he could spend time with his boyfriends at his older boyfriends' place without having to run into Chan or his parents or anyone that might have anything to say. It was relaxing, honestly, to know that he would be able to just be with his best friends and not have to worry about anyone else. Well, he hoped not. As he had learnt from many past experiences, he tried not to get his hopes up, because if he did, something else would come back to bite him in the ass - something always did.

Of course, he also had to do his best to let Woojin and Hyunjin know just how much he loved and appreciated them. That was quite fun, he realised. He actually did turn out to be one for physical affection, he had just been nervous to try it out for the first time, but since he had gotten that out of the way yesterday, it was full steam ahead. Honestly, he thought the other two were lucky if they were able to catch a break from his constant need for touch and affection.

Hyunjin joined him in the room soon and made himself busy, laying on the bed and flicking through one of the many books that Changbin had acquired over time, while Changbin checked over his mental list of things to pack. He was brought back to reality when he heard the engine of a car approach them. Hyunjin sat up.

"Is that..."

Changbin glanced at him nervously, nodding.

The sudden voices, along with the slamming of car doors and loud rattling of keys, made him wince. Of course. Of course this had to happen. He could only blame himself, he supposed. He had spent too long trying to get his stuff, when they should have just been in and out of the place in five minutes.

It was all making his stomach stir; Hyunjin's downcast expression, the mixture of voices, Areum's whining.

The two older men walked past his room, voices becoming louder and more distant once they passed. They probably hadn't noticed Changbin and Hyunjin's presence, or they just didn't care. They probably didn't think that Hyunjin would be with him. Maybe they didn't care about that either.

Hyunjin sat on the bed, shoulders tense with worry, raised eyebrows and parted lips. "This is what you've been putting up with."

Changbin opened his mouth to explain, to tell Hyunjin he was sorry that he didn't tell him sooner, and that he did deserve to know but he just didn't want him to worry. Tears filled his eyes, a loud door slam making the both of them jump.

"Hyunjin, let me take you home." He said softly, closing his eyes when Hyunjin took Changbin's shaking hands in his own. "Jinnie, I'm sorry. I didn't want to cut tonight short, but I need to be here. I don't know what's going to happen and Chan hyung is just-"

The younger placed his hands on Changbin's cheeks, shushing him softly. "It's okay, hyung. They'll be okay. Are you fine to drive?"

He nodded, placing his hands over Hyunjin's, before pulling him into a hug. "Will... Will you let Woojin hyung know? Just say I have some stuff to sort out, he'll know what it means, I think."

Hyunjin's mouth opened, as if he wanted to say something, but he closed it again. Changbin couldn't see it, but his eyebrows were drawn together in worry. He knew not to say anything, at least not until they were both at Woojin's place because that was where Changbin seemed most comfortable.

He was reluctant to leave Changbin's side, still hesitating to step inside the house even after Woojin gently pushed on the small of his back. Changbin felt a bit of his strength restore at their simple interaction, though tense, it was filled with love and concern. He felt a little bit more at ease because even from that far, Woojin's eyes held all the comfort he needed to drive back to his house and wait out the storm.

Changbin sat in his room for what felt like hours, the noise eventually dying down. At some point in the past year, he had learnt how to tune them out, but being away, even for the short time he had been away for, he had forgotten, and everything was clear, as if they were right beside him.

"Areum, come on, out. Bye honey, I'll be back soon." Changbin leant down, kissing her head, frowning at her sad, wide eyes. He made sure she had enough food and water, because honestly, the other two had begun to neglect her a bit, and he felt guilty for leaving her behind with them. He wished he could take her with him.

A range of emotions whirled in him; sadness, anger, disappointment, annoyance, and mostly, longing. Changbin sighed, picking up his backpack. He should be at Woojin's place. They should be on the couch, laughing at some dumb movie, smiling at each other when the other wasn't looking and stealing too-quick kisses.

One thing put his mind to ease, and that was that Woojin and Hyunjin were probably curled up together on the couch or the bed or wherever the younger had fallen asleep. He could imagine the way Woojin would laugh and pull Hyunjin into his arms and kiss his forehead goodnight.

Changbin's heart ached. He couldn't wait to get home.

 

 

A hand on his shoulder shook him until he was semi-conscious.

"Hyung, hyung, hyung," the person repeated, become more annoying by the second. Changbin grunted, his arm flying out of the direction of the voice until it came into contact with something. The person squeaked, "that hurt!"

Changbin flipped over to see Hyunjin rubbing his forearm, and smiled evilly.

He pouted, climbing under the sheets. "You're really mean when you tired, you know?"

"Sorry," he murmured, pressing his lips to the injured area before moving on to Hyunjin's neck with more firm kisses. It wasn't long before he was nibbling at the soft skin near his collarbone.

"Hyung!" He gasped, squirming as his delicate skin was pestered by Changbin's mouth. Changbin just hummed and sighed onto Hyunjin's skin, closing his eyes. "Woojin hyung sent me to wake you up," he whined but was defeated as he looked down into the others' hooded eyes. "Just ten minutes." He mumbled, wrapping his arms around his waist and closing his own eyes.

Alone in the kitchen, Woojin finished making the breakfast, pancakes at Hyunjin's request. It was a bit of a surprise since the boy had admitted to not usually straying from his favourite savoury options. He wondered why the place was so quiet before it clicked; Hyunjin and Changbin were not around. He went to his bed, and sure enough, there they were, Hyunjin resting his head against Changbin's chest.

"Ah, I knew I shouldn't have trusted you," Woojin ran his hand through Hyunjin's hair, shaking his head. Chuckling to himself, he smacked the spatula in his hand against Hyunjin's butt, jolting him awake.

"Hyung, what the hell?" He whined, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"What? It's clean," Woojin shrugged, patting him again. "It's been half an hour. Come on, food's getting cold."

Hyunjin grumbled to himself but was cut off by Woojin picking him up bridal style and carrying him to the dining table. He sat him down at the table, laughing as Hyunjin slumped into the seat.

"Binnie," he whispered, slowly peeling the quilt off of Changbin's body.  _Classic Changbin_ , he thought to himself, watching as the boy curled up from the air hitting his body. Of course he was only wearing his boxers. "It's breakfast time, babe. We'll wait for you."

Well, now he  _had_  to get up. He wasn't going to make them wait for their food. Rubbing his eyes, he groaned slightly, bits of yesterday making their way back into his mind.

Damn, they really ruined his mood.

It was fine. He just had to stop thinking about them. Except it was hard, because Hyunjin now knew what it was like at his house, and he probably had questions. It wasn't that he didn't want Hyunjin to know, because he honestly deserved an explanation. The poor boy must have been confused and worried out of his mind. It was just that Changbin knew it was not helping anyone for him to keep talking about it. It would make him upset, it would make Hyunjin upset, and it would make Woojin upset. Plus, he wanted to spend his time with Woojin and Hyunjin  _happy_ , not annoyed beyond recognition.

So, he decided, he was going to put it behind him. At best, he could offer a brief overview of the situation.

He searched around for his backpack, only to realise he had left it in his car. In need of clothes, he pulled out one of Woojin's shirts, overwhelmed at just how much it smelt of the older boy. The warmth from the familiar smell crept up around him as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Oh my god," Woojin's breath caught in his throat as he placed the plate of pancakes on the table.

Changbin, completely unaware, strolled in wearing Woojin's white t-shirt. It was too big for him, clearly, as it went down mid-thigh and the sleeves almost reached the boys' elbows. The boy looked even smaller than he already was, if that was even possible. It was so simple, and Changbin really shouldn't have looked that good, but he did.

Surely this was illegal. Woojin almost lost his mind.

"Morning, hyung!" Hyunjin greeted brightly, sitting up in his seat as Changbin neared him. His mouth had been opened to say something else, but as his eyes trailed down the older boy's body, he lost his words.

Changbin, eyes narrowed from exhaustion, hair ruffled and cheeks flushed, was a sight, not to mention the way his shirt hung off his shoulders, the neckline wide enough to show off most of his collarbones.

Thankfully, Woojin smacked the back of his head before Changbin noticed his gawking. Hyunjin glared up at the oldest, who smiled sheepishly at having done the same thing just seconds ago.

"Hyung," Hyunjin swallowed his pancake, "can we, um... about yesterday..."

Changbin smiled lightly, annoyance creeping over him at the topic, though he tried not to let it show. "Later, Hyunjinnie."

Hyunjin knew he should have stopped there, because neither Changbin nor Woojin looked him, but for some reason, that spurred him on. He wanted to know. "Ok, but-"

"Just drop it." Changbin said firmly, guilt rising over him when Hyunjin shrank back at his loud voice. Never  _ever_  had he yelled at Hyunjin. In fact, they had never fought or even been upset at each other. It felt so wrong, yet he couldn't find it in him to apologise.

They ate breakfast in silence. It was Changbin who finished first, excusing himself to go get his backpack. He heard Woojin's soft voice tell Hyunjin that it was okay and not to worry, and he was incredibly grateful since he wasn't able to say it himself.

 _God, Changbin, get it together. You just lost your temper at the nicest person ever._ He groaned at himself, anger bubbling up at both himself and his roommates. So much for putting it behind him.

"I like your shirt."

Changbin turned his head to see Woojin standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame in the classic Effortlessly Handsome Guy pose, arms crossed over his chest. He raised his eyebrow. "I guessed that much. You wear it like every day."

Woojin rubbed his forehead. "Changbin, you're seriously daft."

"Is this about before?" Changbin stopped folding the clothes to sigh. His eyes were stuck on the small pile of laundry in front of him, so he wasn't paying attention to the fact that Woojin had been inching closer every second. "I know it was uncalled for-"

The eldest pressed his body into Changbin's, kissing him hard enough to make him stumble backward. He bumped into the dresser, his hand flying back to stabilise himself.

Woojin gripped his waist, lifting him up just enough so that Changbin was sat on the edge of the dresser. The kiss deepened quickly, his heart fluttering when Changbin's hand came up to his cheek, brushing lightly.

Woojin pulled away not long after, squeezing the boys' hips. "Sorry, I just really needed to do that." Changbin didn't get a chance to respond, because Woojin was talking again. "You know that mention it, Hyunjin feels like it's his fault you're mad."

Changbin's shoulders softened. Poor Hyunjin. It wasn't at all his fault.

"This should suffice as an apology."

"What?"

Woojin pressed a firm kiss to his lips, smiling at the small whine Changbin let out. "Go on." He smacked Changbin's butt, herding the smaller boy out of the room.

"I can't even do my goddamn laundry in peace," Changbin mumbled jokingly, yelping when Woojin poked his sides.

The smile fell off his face when he saw Hyunjin on the couch, eyes glued to the news channel on the tv.  _Oh no_ , Changbin thought, worried because Hyunjin was not one to watch the news. He sat down next to the youngest, guilt pounding in his heart.

"Hyunjin?" When he got no more than a small grunt of acknowledgement, he knew he needed something stronger. "Hyunjinnie," Changbin pouted, using his cute voice to get the youngest's attention and moved closer. "Hyungie is sorry. Binnie is really sorry."

His face was directly in front of Hyunjin's, so he didn't miss the smile that tugged at Hyunjin's lips. Changbin grinned in accomplishment, swinging his leg over Hyunjin's, sitting on the youngers' lap.

"What did you do to him? He's being so... Binnie." Hyunjin rolled his eyes. A laugh and a shrug was all it took for Hyunjin's eyes to widen dramatically. "No way! You guys made out! Without me?!"

Changbin blushed deep red, confirming Hyunjin's accusation. "It wasn't much, I promise!"

"Wasn't much? Didn't look that way to me..." The oldest commented, a cheeky smile on his face.

He sputtered, alarmed. "Stop bullying me!"

"I'm the one being bullied! Exempt from a make-out session with my own boyfriends!" Hyunjin scoffed dramatically.

"I'll make up for it!" Changbin yelled suddenly, his brain currently not doing its' job because he was so not used to  _boyfriends_.

Hyunjin smiled, rather cunningly if you asked Changbin. "Yeah, you will."

Moving slowly, Hyunjin's hand went from Changbin's hips to the top of his butt. Smiling cheekily, he pulled Changbin further onto himself. Changbin's hands came up to his cheeks, resting lightly, as their lips met. Neither of them cared that it was messy, both melting into each other. Changbin pushed his body into Hyunjin's, sending shivers through the younger and causing him to let out a small groan, muffled by their lips.

Hyunjin pulled back just a bit, lips brushing over Changbin's. "Seoul changed you."

Changbin hummed in return, gently biting on Hyunjin's bottom lip. "In a good way, right?"

Woojin wasn't sure if it was on purpose but Changbin was fluttering his eyelashes softly and it made his heart race. His eyes trailed over Changbin, lips red and slightly puffy, hair messed up, and most alarmingly, his t-shirt was now hiked up to the tops of thighs. Luckily there were dark blue boxers underneath, though they weren't doing much to hide the boys' creamy skin. He was dazed and panting and looked as pretty as ever. Woojin couldn't see the youngest boy but of course, he must have looked just as stunning.

Woojin gritted his teeth a bit, taking a deep breath. These boys were really too much.

Changbin's head dipped down, nestling at the crook of Hyunjin's neck. He sighed and lifted his head, his tune changing completely as he wore a guilty expression on his face. "I'm sorry, Hyunjin. You know I'd never be mad at you, I could never. Those two just-"

"I know, hyung. It's okay. We don't have to talk about them."

Woojin then decided he had been standing there for too long, and approached the back of the couch, pinching both of their cheeks with a grin. "Now my babies are happy," He smiled teasingly, though seeing them smile really made him happy too.

"Hyung!" they both whined.

 

 

As always, Hyunjin was the first to be in bed, curled up, the word  _hyung_  slipping out of his mouth every few seconds.

Woojin hummed in acknowledgement, taking a few seconds to realise he meant Changbin, not himself. He ventured out of his room to find Changbin sitting at the kitchen bench, spaced out as he stared at the counter.

"Changbin?"

The younger hummed in return, though it was choked up and barely audible. The stool next to him squeaked as Woojin sat down.

"What were are you thinking about?"

The air was crisp and silent and Woojin almost thought that he heard Changbin's heartbeat.

"What happens in the future? How long do we stay together? Until one of you gets sick of me? Until I start hating you?"

He couldn't help what was spilling out from his mouth, those intrusive thoughts that didn't seem to be his. They weren't, really, they were just what he had seen for so long. In a weird way, maybe he had come to terms with the fact that most relationships would crash and burn eventually.

The little pieces of happiness he had, Changbin realised, were always ruined by something else. And he really didn't want that to be the fate of his relationship with Woojin and Hyunjin. But that was life, wasn't it? You win some, you lose some. And god, he had really won a lot with them, so it was only logical that he would encounter a huge loss soon.

"Don't do this, Changbin." Woojin's voice was harsh and blunt.

Changbin blinked, not used to it. "Do what?"

"Let other people ruin what we have."

 _What we have._  God, Changbin was really fucking this up. Maybe that was the point. To ruin what he had before it could be ruined by other means.

"No no no, that's not- Hyung, I-" He sighed, rubbing his forehead, frustrated at himself, "It's just that the relationships around me all turn to shit sooner or later. I can't stop thinking that..."

"You've never seen a functional relationship? What about my parents, or Hyunjin's? What about your neighbours? I mean, do you honestly think there are no stable, relationships out there?"

Something moved in his peripheral vision and he soon realised it was Hyunjin. He looked tired, but still alert enough to know what was happening. Changbin wondered how long he had been standing there for.

"Well, there's Jisung and Felix, and Seungmin and Jeongin, I guess. But they were friends-"

"Were we not friends?" Woojin cut in. "Changbin, I've known you your whole life, Hyunjin has spent every day with you for years. If we had issues with you, you would know by now."

Woojin's voice was strained and Hyunjin could not meet his eye. Changbin's heart clenched. He was already hurting them.

It was silent for a while until Hyunjin spoke up.

"This is going to be hard, isn't it?"

Woojin smiled softly. "It's not gonna be easy, Hyunjin. I don't see us falling out badly or anything like that. If anything, we could grow apart." The thought made his stomach churn. "But we have history, and that says a lot. Changbin has stayed by both of our sides for years, and we've done the same. It's just a matter of getting used to this three-person dynamic, and I'd say we're pretty good at it."

The youngest nodded, returning the same soft smile that Woojin had. "I think so."

"Things will be okay. As long as we keep talking to each other like we are now." The eldest replied, gently resting his hand on top of Changbin's.

Changbin couldn't help but doubt things. That was the way he had always been. But if he wanted the relationship to last, he was going to have some faith in their bond and just let things be. Woojin and Hyunjin, he knew, would never hurt him, and he would do his best not to hurt them either.

"While we're all here," Woojin said, feeling slightly like a CEO at a company meeting, "and in this... atmosphere, I have something else I want to discuss."

Changbin guessed what was coming. He should tell them. He had to. All relationships, romantic or platonic, can't work without honesty. Woojin wouldn't force him to speak, he knew that. But he really owed it to them to be honest for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been almost 3 weeks and I'm so sorry it took so long :( i'm not going to make any promises with how long the next update will take because uni is starting soon for me
> 
> this is highkey a mess, but what writing of mine isn't?? 
> 
> I feel like I say this every time but there are only two more chapters left and I'm lowkey sad that this will end
> 
> I hope you liked it!


	9. Are You Ready?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes time to work through things.

Sometime between his last visit and the one before that, his parents had found out about the nature of Chan and Minho's relationship. And though the weight of keeping a secret had been taken off his shoulders, tensions rose in other areas. 

"It's just that," Changbin swallowed thickly, "everything was about Chan hyung.  _Chan was the best student in his class, Chan got a business degree, Chan has this much money saved up_. Meanwhile, I'm worrying so much I can't sleep, lying to my parents and my friends. And now... now all I hear is  _I'm worried about Chan, how did Chan turn out like this, Chan is being selfish, that's what Chan does, don't be like Chan."_ Changbin was selfish, he knew he was. Unable to look at them, he stared at the floor. "And when you guys come over, my parents don't talk about that stuff, and I think I take advantage of that. I'm sorry for using you."

"If that's you using me, use all you want. I just want you to be happy." Woojin gently brushed the younger's hair out of his face. "If I can be the person that eases your mind, I'll do that. We're here for you, Changbin." 

Hyunjin pulled Changbin into his arms, tightening his grip as he felt the smaller shake with his breaths. 

Changbin really couldn't help the tears forming in his eyes; he was absolutely overwhelmed with love for them. If going through  _that_  was his rite-of-passage to be with them, he would surely do it again in a heartbeat. The prospect should have been alarming, but really, it was something he had considered for a long time. 

He pulled away before he would actually start crying, preparing himself for yet another confession. 

"I don't want my parents to find out. Not yet anyway. I'm sorry, I wish I didn't care what they thought. But they really love both of you and I don't want that to change. I'm scared they'll start hating us the way they hate Chan hyung and Minho hyung."

"We'll never be like them, Binnie, I promise. And it's okay. You can take your time. We'll always be here." Woojin wrapped his arms around Hyunjin's waist, resting his chin on the younger boys' shoulder. "I love your parents, but I understand. I know they're not outright homophobes, but they're not supportive either." 

Still, guilt crept up on him. The two of them were pretty much committing themselves to him, no matter what was happening around him, and he couldn't even be public about their relationship.

"I'm sorry," Changbin looked down, hoping the tears forming would not spill, "you deserve someone to show you off to the whole world."

If it were a movie, he imagined that Hyunjin would have said something cheesy and cliche.

_"Hyung, I thought you knew already," Hyunjin sighed, lifting Changbin's head up with two fingers under his chin, "you guys are my world."_

Instead, he just smiled. Like himself, Hyunjin was never really good with words but that didn't matter. Their chemistry was just right and they almost always knew what the other meant. His smile said something along the lines of  _we are enough._

 _God, I'm so spoilt._ _  
_

Communicating his emotions took a lot of energy, Changbin realised, but he still didn't feel tired. He rarely did. It really didn't help that they were all late-sleepers, but it was nothing a movie and cuddles couldn't fix. 

 

 

Seeing Hyunjin curled up on Woojin's lap, laying against his chest, made Changbin's heart swell an unbelievable amount. He couldn't help but coo at how small they looked together, even though they were taller and definitely stronger than him. Hyunjin moved so his legs were wrapped around Woojin's waist, clinging to him like a child. They exchanged some hushed whispers, a fond smile making its way onto Hyunjin's face as he linked his arms around Woojin's neck. He pressed a soft kiss onto the oldest lips, giggling a bit when Woojin held the younger by the chin to keep him there for a few seconds longer. 

Feeling like head intruding on their moment, he went back to Woojin's room to clean up. The boy was already quite neat, but with himself and Hyunjin there, things didn't stay that way for long.

There were little things he had learnt about them in the past few days, things he hadn't picked up on before. 

Hyunjin was clingy in every way possible, with his body, with his lips. It was his biggest habit to always be reaching for someone else. Thus he was always hugging or holding hands or piggybacking, anything really that meant he was close to them.

Woojin was good at making the younger two blush. He was a perfect gentleman, always kissing the back of their hand or their temples, looking at them with adoring eyes and talking in a soothing voice. There were touches every now and then to reassure them that he was there. 

Changbin, as it turned out, was also fond of touch. He would trace his fingers on their cheek or play with their hair or give the others' soft neck kisses, or rather just press his lips there for minutes at a time while he hummed the tune he heard Woojin singing.

They were equally as clingy and affectionate as each other, and Changbin couldn't describe it as anything less than perfect.  _They_  were perfect. 

Getting to that point whoever, he admitted, was a huge struggle. At the start, it seemed like too far-fetched of a thought that they could even like him. 

It was impossibly lucky how well they complimented each other. It was rare to find such a relationship between two people but between three? It was unheard of for Changbi. 

But there they were and it just worked. 

Warm arms wrapped around his waist, cutting off his train of thought. Various floral scents wafted over from the persons' hair, meaning it was definitely Hyunjin. 

"Hyungie, let's go on a date!" Hyunjin's playful voice filled his right ear.

He smiled at the idea, folding one of Woojin's many white shirts. Or maybe it was Hyunjin's. He really didn't know at this point; they wore the same size shirts. "Sure, Jinnie. Where to?" 

"Well... I haven't been on a rollercoaster in a while?"

Woojin chimed in then, saying it was a must-do in terms of grossly cute dates.  An amusement park date was terribly cliche, but he supposed it was a good excuse to pretend he was scared and hold onto to Woojin's bicep or have Hyunjin do the same to him. Changbin snorted at the thought but agreed when Hyunjin said it was number one on his list of perfect dates. He didn't ask why he had never heard of the list before.

"How can I say no to that?" He shook his head. 

Hyunjin squeezed his body, making him gasp for air for a second before letting go and bouncing on the spot. "Seungmin's gonna be so jealous!" The youngest cackled as he dragged Woojin out of the room to look at ticket prices. 

 _Seungmin. Seungmin._   _Oh shit, I should tell Seungmin and Jeongin what happened._

How was he supposed to go about that?  _Hey, remember my two best friends who I'm in love with? Yeah, they like me back and now we're dating._

That ended up being exactly what he sent because he didn't really know how else to say it. Well, they had always told him he wasn't a good story-teller. 

_jyangs: eye-_

_jyangs: screams_ _  
_

_dandymin: well_

_dandymin: well_ _  
_

_dandymin: well_ _  
_

_darkbinbinnie: respond like normal people p l e a s e_ _  
_

Changbin chewed his lip nervously, though he wasn't sure why. They were his friends, they knew everything about him, and they had always been supportive. Maybe he was seeking the approval of someone outside of their relationship. 

_dandymin: pics or it didn't happen_

_jyangs: what he said_ _  
_

_darkbinbinnie: okay valid I'll send them, I'm going on a date later~_ _  
_

_jyangs: SCREAM INTENSIFIES_ _  
_

_jyangs: THAT'S SO CUTE_ _  
_

_dandymin: pls u should see them in person_ _  
_

He briefly thought about the younger two gagging at how affectionate the three of them were together and stifled a laugh. 

 _darkbinbinnie: anyways... do you two have any news for me_ _  
_

_dandymin: oh right_ _  
_

Changbin wanted for a follow-up message but nothing came. Didn't _oh right_  mean Seungmin had something to say? 

A moment later, his phone buzzed with a video call. 

"How does this kid always press this button by accident- Oh!" He blinked at the screen, having expected to hear the awkward fumbling of Seungmin trying to end the call. Instead, he was met with two smiling boys. 

Though he had never actually seen the two together before, there was something different about them. It was written all over their body language and oh yeah, something had definitely happened there. 

They stared at each other for a moment, before Jeongin waved at him shyly and nudged the older boy beside him. 

"Breaking news, we're dating," Seungmin said, getting straight to the point. 

Changbin did absolutely nothing to hide his squeal of excitement. "Hyunjin!" He called out excitedly, his voice raised an entire octave. 

There was some clattering in the other room and seconds later, Hyunjin ran in, breathless and wide-eyed. "What happened?!"

"It's Jeongin! It's Jeongin and Seungmin!" He pointed to his phone excitedly. 

Confusion crossed his face, followed by understanding.  "I thought you had dismembered your arm or something!" He let out a breath of relief before rolling his eyes and walking closer to see the two boys on the screen. "Oh, he  _is_  cute." 

This made both Jeongin blush and Seungmin smile proudly. 

"I know!" The older boy said, pretending to bite Jeongin's ear. 

Jeongin groaned at clacking sound in his ear, pushing Seungmin away with a fake frown on his face. "Oh my god- He does this all the time!" 

"I can't help it! You're so cute!" He whined, pulling Jeongin in for what looked to be a bone-crushing hug. 

The two started bickering among themselves, and Changbin felt giddy inside. They looked so happy with each other. And Changbin too was happy for them, that they had found each other. He was a part of that. 

"They're so cute," Hyunjin said somewhat dreamily, clinging to Changbin's side. 

Once they were nose-to-nose, Hyunjin's eyes had become adorably wide, stealing the older's attention right away. He wrapped one arm around the younger's waist and pulled him closer. 

"You're cuter," Changbin whispered back, once again falling into the traps that were Hyunjin's pretty eyes. As Hyunjin blinked slowly, the older boy leaned in for a kiss. 

 _Jeongin and Seungin's innocence be damned_ , he thought. 

"And you said the date would be cheesy." The voice made the four of them stop what they were doing. 

"Is that him?" Both Seungmin and Jeongin asked, craning their necks as if it would allow them to see Woojin. It wouldn't, they quickly realised. 

Changbin switched to the back camera and faced Woojin, who was watching, confused at what was happening. 

His eyes flicked between the camera, Hyunjin, and Changbin. In a mild state of panic, he straightened out his shirt and fixed his hair. "What's this? Who is it?" 

"Changbin hyung scored! Twice!" The youngest boy looked a bit too shocked for Changbin's liking. 

"Shut up, you brat." He huffed, showing the screen to Woojin, who nodded, obviously still confused.

"No," Seungmin whined, "now it's just Hyunjin and Changbin hyung. I see you guys too much already! Show us your other boyfriend!" 

Changbin ignored them with a sheepish smile. "It's Seungmin and Jeongin. Long story. They're dating apparently." 

A small smile spread over Woojin's face. "Ah, Seungmin. Hyunjinnie's roommate?"

"Hyunjinnie!" The boys on the phone chorused, teasing smiles on their faces. 

Changbin fumbled to switch back to the front camera, grumbling to himself. "Okay, I think we've filled our Seungmin and Jeongin quota for today! I'll talk to you later." 

"Finally!" Seungmin threw his arms around Jeongin again, causing the younger boy to almost drop the phone as he tried to end the call. 

"Bye hyungs!" 

The younger two of the trio giggled between themselves at their friends as Hyunjin sat down with Changbin to help him with folding the clothes. 

Changbin's phone buzzed a couple of times. 

_jyangs: we didn't get to say thank you before, so, thank you_

_dandymin: really_

_dandymin: we would've never met if it wasn't for you_

_jyangs: have fun on your date!!!_

Changbin sat down with a dramatic sigh.Damn, those kids really made him soft. 

 "You okay?" The taller boy asked, laying his head on Changbin's leg. 

"More than okay." Changbin grinned down at the boy. 

Smiling lightly, the younger closed his eyes and let his boyfriend play with his hair, the laundry completely forgotten. 

Once again, Woojin's voice snapped them back to reality. "Babes, the park closes in five hours." 

Well, that was what happened when they stayed up late and slept in too long. 

Hyunjin scrambled off of his lap, but not before giving him a kiss on the lips. It was rushed and clumsy, their noses bumping into each other, causing them to groan out with laughter. 

"Idiots," Woojin mumbled, eyes swimming with the constant fondness that had both boys blushing at any given time. 

 _Speaking of idiots, I should catch up with Jisung and Felix soon._  

Changbin snorted at himself for associating the two with idiots, because honestly, they were very smart. They just didn't understand each other's social cues. Not the romantic kind, anyway. It had taken a lot of super casual hints from Changbin that the two should spend more time together, and two years of the boys knowing each other, for them to actually go out on a date. His last statement before they had agreed on a date was something along the lines them of pretty much acting like they were dating anyway. 

He rolled his eyes mentally at their cute and simple relationship, formed through the strong bonds of friendship. He was a part of that too, and he was so glad that they were happy. 

 

 

They had not been on any rides that prompted him to hold onto Woojin's bicep or have Hyunjin to hold on to his bicep, but they were definitely having fun. There was that one ride where Woojin had his hand on Changbin's leg the entire time, and Hyunjin did hold his hand when they walked between each ride, so he really couldn't complain. 

Amongst the stalls, Changbin noticed some familiar cartoon plushies and immediately perked up, making a bee-line for the game. 

"Hyung!" 

By the time Woojin and Hyunjin caught up with him, he had paid for and begun playing. 

Shooting games were not his forte but he tried his best because the reward was incredibly cute and he had to win it. At one point, Woojin had wrapped his arms around the younger because his aim was  _so_  off. It made Hyunjin squeal and take what felt like a million pictures while Changbin blushed, though he secretly liked it. He was also pretty sure he saw the carnival worker smile at the encounter, but he was a bit too embarrassed, or perhaps, in awe, to pay much attention. 

Luckily, Changbin managed to shoot down enough cans to get the right prize. He grinned at the stuffed toy, one he probably could have bought from a shop, without the hassle of shooting down overly steady cans, but it was the thought that counted. 

A knowing look flashed in Woojin's eyes before he pulled out money for both himself and Hyunjin to play, and soon they were each holding a stuffed toy. 

And then Hyunjin was asking why exactly three of them were standing there with Winnie the Pooh characters. Changbin explained about that night he spent with Woojin. It was the night when he realised he really liked Woojin, and lead up to the day he realised how much Hyunjin meant to him. That night really boiled down to being the first time Changbin had confronted himself about what he felt for the other two. 

They stood solemnly for a few minutes, letting the words sink in. As for the toys, they ended up agreeing to exchange them. Hyunjin proposed to take Piglet and Pooh to Seoul, while Tigger would stay at Woojin's place. 

"That way, you can have me," Hyunjin explained, looking at the Tigger toy, "around, and I can have you guys around."

He thought back to that time Hyunjin had left his rings behind for them. Though he didn't really have to check to see, he knew Woojin was wearing the ring; he was rarely seen without it. 

_It's a piece of me to have always._

The eldest caught Changbin watching as he fiddled with the ring, the two smiling at each other with reddened cheeks. 

 _Not good with words, my ass_ , Changbin thought to himself. 

 

 

The place they ended up eating at a place that he and Woojin had been to before. It was the restaurant from the night he had gone ice-skating for the first time in years. Once again, Hyunjin asked of the significance of the place when he saw Changbin's eyes light up and Changbin explained. 

He remembered convincing himself that it wasn't a date, though he was nervous as if it was. He remembered the way he felt both relieved and disappointed when Woojin said it was a  _friend date_. 

"You friend-zoned me." He stated bluntly, vividly recalling the memory. 

Woojin simply smiled. "I didn't friend zone you. We were friends and we were on a date. Was I wrong there?"

It was only then that he realized there were so many things that happened that resembled the behaviour of two people on a date. It was when Woojin first called him  _baby_ and held his hand and let Changbin wear his jacket. 

"Plus, I know you were having a hard time. The last thing I wanted to spring on you was the fact that I liked you."

That sounded about right.

"Oh- Wait you liked me back  _then_?" He gaped, absolutely shocked at the prospect, which made Hyunjin giggle. "What? How did you hide it? I couldn't even tell." 

"Babe, I didn't. You were just so oblivious." Woojin laughed.

Still not really coming to terms with it, he racked his brain for any signs that Woojin liked him. And of course, there were signs everywhere, he just hadn't seen them in a romantic sense. 

And in particular, there was that time where Woojin said something which confused Changbin, which he then made a mental note to ask Hyunjin about. Maybe that was about Woojin liking him. Maybe if he had asked Hyunjin, he would have known a whole lot sooner. But he didn't and things were fine the way they were. 

"Like I said, you had a hard time. I just thought that a relationship would have been the last thing you wanted. Until you confessed, that was."

Changbin opened his mouth to speak, but that was when their menus were set in front of them. To their delight, the waitress was the same as last time, and judging by her bright smile, she recognised them.

"It's been a while boys!" She laughed, a friendly smile making its' way onto her face. "Another friend date?" 

Changbin glanced to the other two and their smiles, both nodding slightly, signalling that he could tell her. It was fine, he could do this. It was just the nice waitress who thought he and Woojin were one a date last time. "Actually, we're on a date date." 

"Didn't I tell you that you two looked good together." She glanced to the empty chair then. "Are you waiting for someone? I can come back..."

He gave her a soft smile and shook his head. "No, it's just us." 

Her eyebrows raised immediately. "Ah, I see. How lovely!" She clapped her hands together as she grinned. "Well, I'll take your orders and get out of your hair!" 

Changbin let out a breath of relief. If only everyone could be as supportive as her. 

"She's so progressive," Hyunjin mumbled to himself once she had left. "Not many middle-aged women would react like that." 

Woojin hummed in agreement as he scanned over the menu. 

And then Changbin got to thinking again. Had something like this happened with Hyunjin too? Were there any signs that he didn't notice because he was too oblivious?

As far as he could remember, there was one thing, and that was Hyunjin's change in behaviour when he came to stay at Woojin's place. The younger boy had clung onto him the entire time and even kissed his cheek.

That night, he remembered, was when he learnt that Hyunjin liked one of his friends. The only thing he said was that he had known him from a while. Had Hyunjin been talking about him? It only made sense. Changbin didn't know the younger to have any long-time friends other than himself.

God, was he really this stupid? He couldn't tell that the two people that he liked may have liked him back.

He must have looked like an idiot trying to confess his feelings, all teary-eyed and wobbly-lipped as he tried to explain himself. He cringed at the thought. 

And those dreams... 

 _Visual manifestations of intense feeling_ , Woojin settled on calling them, because Changbin found it really embarrassing when Hyunjin went around saying 'sex dreams'. 

The strange thing about those dreams was once the three of them had actually gotten together, they had stopped completely, and Changbin knew why. It was because he had the real thing. It was no longer some far-fetched pipe dream. It was no longer something based off of unrealised feelings that his lonely heart had turned into a fantasy. It was no longer something that he could fool himself into false-happiness with. 

It was real.

Looking back, it was all a blur. One minute he was pining after them and the next they were  _boyfriends_. How did this happen? How, among all of the shit in his personal life, Chan and Minho, his parents, his struggle with school and his family, did Changbin manage to land not one, but two of the sweetest, most beautiful boys ever? Honestly, he had no idea. They just fit together somehow. He sure as hell knew he didn't deserve this, but the least he could do was love them the way they deserved to be loved. 

Changbin knew he didn't deserve them; it was a fluke in the system really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update has taken suuuper long and I'm so sorry to anyone who was waiting :(( but I hope you enjoyed it
> 
> I'll be wrapping things up in the next chapter, but judging by how long this took for me to put together, it won't be out for a while
> 
> let me know what you thought!


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